"In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.
Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."
as said by Elwood P. Dowd, played by Jimmy Stewart, in "Harvey"
You know, when I started this blog, I had an idea. I thought that rather then concentrating on just autism, I would instead focus on how autism affected my family. I wanted to do it in such a way that any person could relate to. Whether they had an autistic child or not. I wanted to show people that our life really wasn't that much different than theirs. Oh sure, most people don't have a kid who stims or refuses to take off their snow pants in the spring. I just wanted to find a relatable way to portray what autism is to us-a way that I have never seen in popular media. I want to make people laugh. Sort of like an autism/family humorist.
I choose to focus on the positive. Sure, I could write about the early years. The years when both Omar and myself survived mostly on as little as two hours of sleep a night. (How we conceived our daughters..it is a blur-although I think that I would remember an angel coming down to chat with me...so I have to assume that Omar is the papa) I could focus on the freak outs, lack of language...lack of desire to potty train...but really, why? What purpose would that serve-except to make me some sort of victim or martyr. I am so not a victim, and besides, I am saving martyr-hood for adolescence!(as is any parents right)
So I guess you are wondering what the point of this post is..Today, I had a sad thing happen. Which was later followed by a great thing. I was talking to a friend. Over the past month or so, we have been discussing autism, how it affects the kids, our family...but mostly about how great all my kids are. The joy that I have-how lucky I am. Today, I brought up something I had read, about a parent saying that they would choose death over autism for their child. I was about to go into how very sad I felt for that person...how lost and confused and downright WRONG they were , when I was interrupted(by my friend) who AGREED with this person!! Talk about being knocked on my ass...blown away..rendered speechless !(very hard to do to me) Hadn't she heard a single word that I had said! I asked her one thing...I said "Don't you think my children have value?" Needless to say, the conversation ended quickly after that.
I was pondering this later-more like fuming..as I was watching the herd ride their bikes. We all have choices in this life. I could choose to debate against autism "victims"..(there are excellent blogs that do so) but that is simply not my forte. So what are my options? Oh so smart...or oh so pleasant? For me, the choice is pleasant everytime. Either you get it or you don't. Obviously, my friend didn't. As this was going through my head, Oscar came running to me. He was angry because Lily was calling him a baby. He said "I am not a baby! I am a PERSON! I am a READER!" I thought to myself..."You are also not autism...you are Oscar..joyful, funny, and loving. Perfect."