~"Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they're already asleep."~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.
We had Sam's IEP meeting a few days before his trip. Now, I look upon IEP meetings as one of Dante's unwritten about circles of hell with all the excitement of medieval dentistry thrown in..So, as Sam is transitioning to (eek!) high school next year-I
As we stood with his packed bags waiting for the bus last Monday, I once again -(in between asking him if he was sure he had everything)-told him how much I was going to miss him. As the bus pulled up-I leaned in to give him a big hug...only to grab air. With not so much a a backward glance, I got a "see ya"...and off he went to the bus. "See ya???" That's it? No hug? I was bereft! My boy, leaving home for the first time EVER didn't even bother to give me a hug? My poor heart! I of course ran and (indignantly) texted this to Omar-who replied-"He's fourteen-there were people there." Pouting-I went to do what I always do under times of duress-laundry. Where I noticed-he had forgotten his pajama's..".NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I cried..I may have even gnashed my teeth. "Not his pajama's!!!" *sob* "He can't be without his pajama's!"
Sam loves his pajamas. He always has. When he was three years old until he was about six-he wore the same exact pair of pajamas every single night. It did not matter that they became six sizes to small. It did not matter that they were full of holes (that his wonderful Aunt Ursula lovingly tried to sew up for him).IT. DID. NOT. MATTER. He was going to wear them-and god help anyone who tried to take them away! Only when they became more hole than pajama did he
It sustained me
Sam called me on Friday to pick him up from school- just as I had run out of things to clean. Thank goodness for that-as I had been perilously close to taking the neighbors clothes (whether they wanted it or not) I went in to the school and saw a man at the far end of the hall..I figured he too was eagerly looking for his kid..until I heard "Mama?"...that "man" was my Sam. He RAN to me and caught me up in the biggest and best spine cracking feet off of the ground hugs. "Hey Mama! I missed you!" (squee! he missed me!) "Hey buddy! Did you have a great time?" "I did.".."You forgot your pajama's." "Yeah..I slept in my shorts." (he slept in his shorts!) "That was smart thinking.".."Yeah...oh, I almost forgot...(he hands me his bag) this is for you...it's my laundry.." Oddly enough-I didn't feel like washing it... There are only four years until he leaves for college..sigh...I don't think that there is enough detergent in the world for that...
* This past week, three autistic children died as a result of their wandering. There are far too many negative voices both in the online autism community and from parents- who feel just so damn superior in either their parenting skills and or experience that they dare to criticize these families. As if these children's lives and deaths are open to public debate. I am disgusted. I wrote this joyful piece to maybe try and erase some of the horrible and unconscionable comments made towards these families. My heart goes out to them. I hope that they may find some peace.
"The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soularises from the feeling that there is in every individual something
which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore,
absolutely and irretrievably lost."