"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." --Dave Edison
2010 has not been a good tooth year for me. I don't know, I guess having children and getting caught up in all things "kid" had caused me to neglect my dental care. Way back in March I wrote all about my dentalphobia and the fact that I could think of nothing worse than a trip to the dentist. Now in July (and with much thanks to Valium) and just one appointment short from finishing up all my dental treatment-which had included five trips to the periodontist and three trips to the regular dentist. I had a new lease on teeth! I was going to be the queen of all things dental! I was flossing and brushing..AND even though it burned the hell out of my mouth-I rinsed with Listerine! What's a little bone loss? I had bought a Braun! I was none too cocky. I had endured and I was feeling perhaps a bit too proud of myself. I had survived my trips to hell and back. I had saved my teeth..no worries-right?
I certainly didn't see it coming. I was an innocent mother romping in the pool with her kids. It had been a hot day..and I was looking forward to floating on my tube. My tube-not my kids...mine. I had bought them a variety of their own floaty devices..but it seemed that mine was the one they wanted. So there I was playing (if you are a parent you know this game) "please don't jump on me or my tube-that is why I bought you forty million tubes of your own" (the simplified version is called "STOP HANGING ON ME!") with the Sam and Zoe...Omar was playing the same game on the other side of the pool with Lily and Oscar. I turned to him to say that we would come back later after the herd was in bed..when BAM! Sammy's elbow going at about 900 mph hit me straight in the mouth knocking my left front tooth snuggly behind the right one. Holy crap! In my life I have broken bones...burned myself, fallen down staircases..I have given birth! But this-this was a level of pain I had never before experienced. The Godzilla of pain..pain to the zillionth degree! I can't tell you exactly how I wound up on the kitchen floor with a towel of ice covering my face...but there I was..hyperventilating..and writhing ( writhing galore) while Omar kept the kids away from me.
Two Vicodin and many bags of ice later, Sammy came upstairs to find me. He was beside himself and in tears because he had accidentally hurt me. "Thammy buddy..(a combination of Vicodin and loose tooth has left me with an interesting lisp) it wath an accthident! We were playing..you didn't mean to knock me!!!" "I hate my elbow!!!" "Oh Thammy...ith alright..I'm o.k.!!! Thee?? "(I attempted to smile) "Why do you sound like that?" "Oh my tooth ith a little thore thath all.." "Can I kiss it?" "NO!" "But if I kiss it, it will make it feel better..you always say that...Oh I'm sooooo mad at my elbow!" Sigh...or should I say "thigh"....How do you explain to a boy that kisses don't always fix everything? More importantly, do I want to just yet? Sammy holds things like this so close to his heart-dwells on them..really obsesses. It is only now, eight years after accidentally breaking Oscar's nose by swinging a snow shovel around, that Sammy can look at his brother's nose with out feeling guilt. And since I have enough tooth anxiety for forty people... I did the only thing I could think of-I lied. "Thammy-the dentiht thaid that it wath o.k. to could blow kitheth to my tooth." So he did. I thought things were o.k. after that,-until three days later when I caught him sobbing uncontrollably. "Buddy! whath wrong?" "I don't know!!" "Are you thtill upthet over my tooth?" "No! hiccup..I said I was over that!"
"Then whath going on?" "I don't know!! I just feel really sad..." I know this is about my tooth(even if he doesn't)-because I know my boy. He will not be o.k. until this tooth is fixed..until I don't sound like Sylvester the cat..until I let anyone within two feet of my mouth again.
I have another dental appointment on Thursday. Hopefully the swelling will have gone down enough by then for them to fix it. Scary- for the first time ever in my forty six years of life, I am looking forward to it Although not enough to skip the Valium. I may have embraced a whole new philosophy of dental care..I may floss and brush and rinse with the finesse of a hygienist..I could even be the poster girl for "Dental Living"...but I am not crazy.