Friday, June 4, 2010

Apples and trees.....

"I am yours, you are mine.   You are what you are.  And you make it hard." ~Stephen Stills~

 I am bone weary.  It has been that kind of week.  Two kid neurological I.E.P. meeting, a scramble to find an electrician..tearing down an old shed..making the yard ready for a new all the things to get ready for summer vacation which starts in one week...tons of phone calls and setting up of appointments and cancelling of others..I am so looking forward to the weekend-even if that means the kids are home all day. I just want to hang out..maybe read a little..drink tons of coffee..look at the new pool that we won't be able to use because it will be rainy and cold and the hard to find incredibly expensive electrician won't be here to install the pump till Monday...and besides there is just so much other stuff to do.  Sigh...Who am I kidding anyway?  I'm really not the "laze about in a bathrobe" type.  I'm more of a "start fifteen projects and finish none of them" kind of girl. I mean, I still have boxes from college that I never unpacked..even worse...I have boxes from boarding school I never unpacked either-and I graduated high school in 1983!!!  It seems that I stumble through my life with the best of intentions..only to be constantly distracted.  There are days when I have looked at my kids and thought "How did you get here?" or "Holy crap! did I remember to feed you?" (as if they would let me forget.)

  It isn't like I planned this life.  I didn't spend my girlhood dreaming of the perfect wedding or raising a family.No, I was definitely more interested in having adventures. Traveling the world..riding elephants..I even thought about joining the circus once-but that was short lived on account of there being clowns..(they freak me out) The point is-well, I guess I just never pictured myself doing this.  Don't get me wrong-I'm not lamenting the life that I am having..I just didn't imagine it would be this one. It was really rather unexpected.

 You could say that I grew up in the usual way..until adolescence (but that is a whole other story) when I wound up being sent  experiencing a born again christian  naughty girls school in North Carolina (which I promptly ran away from) from there I wound up at Quaker boarding school in N.Y.(from which I tried very hard to be thrown out of-didn't work) went to college..graduated moved to the city and took  a series of  bizarre strange unusual  jobs..I have been an actress, a restaurant manager, a giant rose, a giant turkey, a product demonstrator, a glue chipper, a dishwasher, an artist's model, a purveyor of paper goods, a cocktail waitress, a car wash attendent, a restaurant owner, a receptionist, a christmas tree saleswoman, an associate producer,a light board operator, and the hostess for a drag show to name a few. None of those things exactly scream maternal.  And yet here I am-the mom of four magnificent kids..go figure.

  It always seems  that what I plan on and what actually happens are two very different things...and I find myself wondering why this  always surprises me? . You would think that I'd have learned by now.  Funny, at the neurologists office yesterday we were discussing ADHD..when he was able to get a word in (I tend to chatter a little..well actually, quite a bit-alright! incessantly!)  he looked pointedly at ME and said "well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.." Now THAT, I don't find surprising..neither does Omar.  What could we do but laugh.

  So here I am trying to plan out the weekend after a long week.  There is so much to be done around here.  Maybe I'll actually get around to unpacking a few boxes...then again...maybe I won't.  Oh who am I kidding?
I have absolutely no idea of what I'll do. I can tell you one thing though...I will have fun not doing it. In the words of my friend Louise "That's for damn true!"


Kim Wombles said...

Hee, I wouldn't want you to be any other way! You're wonderful exactly as you are. :)

If you don't unpack boxes long enough, some of them manage to disappear. :-)

kathleen said...

Thanks Kim...hmmmm...starting to get a know?

jazzygal said...

What an interesting life you've led Kathleen, even if you may feel you've stumbled through it, not knowing what's next!

Have to say, reading the first half about unpacked boxes and unfinished projects made me wonder if we're not twin sisters separated at birth (although a few years apart!!)and living on different continents!!
As for ADHD?? I do sometimes wonder the same about myself.....

Great post! xx Jazzy

kathleen said...

Hi Jazzy!..It certainly has been interesting...and though I regret some choices here and there..I really wouldn't change anything for the world.
It's so nice to find other people have unpacked boxes laying about..I feel less alone! ;0

Zhe Yu Ho-Yun- thanks. :)

kathleen said...

Hi Roman..from what translator told me...yes-my being like Lily will help her because I do have real life knowledge as to how she feels-how the world looks to her..Thanks for stopping by..:)