Heated conversations....

"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"  ~Steven Wright

                                                          

It is so very hot outside. The kind of heat that makes things that on most days are only mildly annoying-seem exceptionally annoying.  Everything just sticks to you-your clothes, dog hair...children.. My kids are hot as well..I know this because they tell me every thirty seconds or so.."Mama..I'm hot"  "Yeah it's pretty hot outside"..."but I'm hot.." "Yes, I know you are hot.." "I'm hot too".."Me too".."Mama we're hot.."  "..sigh.."I know you are all hot..I am hot..why don't you go sit quietly in the playroom and let the fan cool you off."
"but it is blowing in hot air.." sigh.."If you sit really still and don't make a sound you will cool off" "It's not working.." "Thats because you keep running in to tell me how hot you are.." "But it's not working!"  "Well maybe if you put on a pair of shorts and took off your pants socks and shoes you would feel better?"  "But I don't want my feet to get cold."  "Oscar it is 95 degrees in the house..your feet won't get cold!" "But they might!"sigh... My Oscar is having problems accepting summer wear.  He keeps tugging at the sleeves of his short sleeved shirt-trying to pull them down to his wrist.  But hey, at least he's wearing them-even if it is grudgingly..This is nothing like it was with Sammy-who used to mourn his snow pants in April.  So I really can't complain. And thankfully none of them have a problem with bathing suits..

  Thank god for our pool..It is a life saver..it tires the herd out and cools them off-especially my sock clad boys..and it keeps them happy... for about three and a half minutes..until.."Mama!  Lily says my zhu zhu pet is a boy but I say it's a girl!"  "Lil..Zoe can call her zhu zhu pet a girl if she wants to."  "But it's name is Mr. Squiggles!" "I don't care! she's a girl!" "No Mr. means boy!" "But it's a girl!! I don't want a boy!" "Zoe! it's a boy!" ..sobbing now"Mama! Lily won't let my zhu zhu pet be a girl!"...and so it went..for the entire  two hour swim..getting dressed...having a snack.. and through dinner....Oh I tried to be diplomatic ("girls please try to get along)"..tried to redirect the conversation ("hey-who wants to discuss folding laundry?")...tried to distract them ("I have candy!")..but when the shouting became  more than this innocent..and very hot mother could bear-I lost it...went off the deep end... I yelled... "DOES  IT  HAVE  A  PENIS????" shocking my children into stunned silence. Until an indignant Oscar looked at me in horror and said "That is not polite Mama!" " No..It is a FINE word to use in a discussion..DO ZHU ZHU PETS HAVE GENITALS??? NO THEY DO NOT!  THEREFORE ZOE'S ZHU ZHU PET CAN BE A GIRL!"  "Actually Mama, they don't have either..they are only toys...why is your face so red?"  "Because I am HOT!!!" "well why don't you go sit in the playroom and let the fan cool you off?"

 Tomorrow is a summer rec day..and I am oh so thankful.  We all really do need a break from each other-at least until this mini heat wave is over.  Until then, I am just going to have to get a grip on myself. Not let these little things get in the way of my better judgement.. I have learned the hard way, that many things said in exasperation are oft times repeated in the worst of places. And I have a sneaky suspicion that one day in the near future...I will be in the supermarket with them and I will hear Oscar say "zhu zhu pets penis!" and laugh hysterically. And the really sad thing is..well I probably will too. Heat wave or not.