Saturday, October 23, 2010

Tonight...

~ "Tonight tonight won't be just any night.."~From West Side Story
-music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

 Tonight is going to be a momentous night for one girl..one of her first big steps into the exciting unknown..Tonight will be her first ever date. No, it isn't the kind where you have dinner or go to the movies..and definitely not the kind where you sneak off to be alone together and kiss..it is so much more innocent than that.  Where you are more friends than anything else. But, it is still so special..because it is the first..The first time you have been asked somewhere by a boy..the first time you were chosen..made to feel special..made to feel pretty and popular..I still remember my first date nine hundred million years ago. His name was John and he asked me to the seventh grade dance.  I can't really recall the details..although he probably wore flannel .  I felt wonderful..yes unsure.. grown up and oh so sophisticated wearing my Bonnie Belle lip-smackers (Dr. Pepper flavored)  I was twelve years old and I felt so mature ...I was living life to its fullest!...at least until 9:00 when my mom picked me up.

  So I think about that girl ..and I wonder if she will remember this night..this first..this boy who asked her. I guess that it doesn't really matter.  Because I will remember. Because tonight, Sammy's is the boy who asked that girl.  Asked! .My boy asked a girl to the dance!! sigh... My not so little son is drifting into that strange land that falls between boy and young adult.  Going from one "hood" to another. Interested in girls but having no idea why. I look at him and I am at a loss for words..my heart doesn't know whether to be happy at such growth or sad at such....growth..  Here is the kid that so many people said "would never"...and yet he did..and does.  And really-I know that this is wonderful...and monumental..and all kinds of good stuff in between..and yet..and yet...it hurts. What in the world is wrong with me!!??

As I helped him get ready for the Halloween dance (He was "Manus" from Symbiotic Titans) I set some ground rules.  He was not to leave the building...he was to pay attention to his "date" as he had asked to be her escort...But-most importantly, he was not to hit her or anyone else in the head with his light saber. Yeah...we had to improvise a little on the costume-but he didn't have a problem with it. (another HUGE step)
 We dropped him off at the school and told him to have a great time. Three hours(of pacing) later..we picked up a tired but happy boy. "Hey-how was the dance buddy?"  "Great."..."Did you have fun?" "Yes." ..."Did you meet your girl?" "Yes."..."Well???" "I'm hungry..can I have a snack?" "Yeah...did you dance..?" "Yeah..my feet hurt." "Did you dance with your girl??" "Uh huh..can I have some cookies?"  Arrgghhh...this growing up stuff is really really hard on an innocent mother! sigh..But I figured if he wanted to tell me about it he would.  I've got to give my boy some room..like it or not.  Even if I am dying for details.

   Later on as he was going up to bed he said "Mama?...can I tell you something?"  Part of me wanted to believe he would talk about the dance..but the experienced part of me knows better. "yeah bud..what's up?" "You know that show Deltora Quest?..well, they are going to the Sea of Rats...crazy huh?" "uhhh...yeah?"
"O.k....goodnight Mama".."Goodnight buddy.." Good night indeed.  

   

  

  

21 comments:

@jencull (jen) said...

Awwww, he asked a girl to the dance. I don't know whether to jump with joy or pace the floor with you. So exciting and really quite scary at the same time. But brilliant news nonetheless:D

My 8 year old went to his first disco last night. We were teasing him before he went that he would have to ask a girl to dance and 'slow dance' with her. He was mortified (hehehe). Still though, that is a long way away from asking a GIRL to a dance.

Wow!

Jen

KWombles said...

Awwww! Go Sammy! That's wonderful, Kathleen. It's been such an impressive year for him. :-) I totally get the happy and hurting; we're thrilled to see them venture where we were told they never would, but we are also ever so mindful of the risk they are running of having their hearts and another's bruised.

Wonderful post. :-)

Angela said...

oh that is so cute...though I wish Sammy would have shared more details lol :)

bbsmum said...

Oh, thats lovely. It's quite an an achievement for any boy, NT or on the spectrum, to pluck up courage to ask a girl to a dance. You must be so proud of your young man.

Big Daddy Autism said...

Oh boy! I think your advice about not hitting your date with your light sabre was brilliant. That is more like a second date kinda thing! :) Seriously, I cannot imagine what it must feel like to have your boy go on his first date. Yikes.

Chelli said...

Kathleen,
That is so awesome! Way to go Sammy! Sammy has had an amazing year.

Love the cosantume! Noah and I are known to watch an episode of Symbionic Titans together every once in awhile. :)

lifewithasperger said...

THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME!!!!!! YAY!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dear,

I am amused. Boy he reminds me of Cait!

Love, Ei

Anonymous said...

Hi Dear,

I am amused. Boy he reminds me of Cait!

Love, Ei

K- floortime lite mama said...

goodness he is just luminous your boy
Love this story

Gina @ Special Happens said...

Ah...I LOVE it. I can sympathize with the internal conflict you're having. Though I'm far from there, I'm even mixed about being 'there'. Good for him though...and I'm betting he didn't hit anyone with the light saber. (Hi from the blog hop and thanks for stopping by!)

Stephanie said...

*big smiles*

Willy hasn't gotten to that point, yet. But I do understand the wanting for details and the need (theirs, not ours) for backing off. And then, those last minute additions that have nothing to do with what we want so desperately to know.

*sigh*

Casdok said...

Theres nothing wrong with you. Those feelings are what being a mum is all about :)

Kelly said...

I love your story. It gives me some hope for my son's future. He is only 4. Anyhow so very awesome for your son and I can also imagine how difficult that is for you.

Kelly
www.bepatientimautistic.blogspot.com

Lynn said...

Other than having no idea what all the symbiotic titans of delphinia were about....great story! He's enjoying that age much more than I ever did!

mamafog said...

Great story, thanks for sharing. Hope this is the first of many dates and dances for your son.

jazzygal said...

No no no no noooooooooooo. This can't be true?! If so I've only 1 year left of my boy's childhood!!! Noooo. I am so not ready for this.

Seriously though, it's wonderful news!

Sammy's response though is so typical. I just know that's EXACTLY what I would get if it was WiiBoy that asked a girl to the dance!

Lovely story Kathleen. Oh how he is growing up.

xx Jazzy

(this is my latest..hidden under sponsored post! http://jazzygals-steppingout.blogspot.com/2010/10/fifth-class-tales-end-of-term-1.html)

Sarah S said...

That is so sweet!!!

I hope this is the first of many dates for your son!

Happy ICLW!!
#93

Krissi said...

Awww! How sweet! That is so cute! Happy ICLW! (#72 & 106)

kathleen said...

Thanks everyone for the comments-I am sorry, I am usually so much better at responding. The bloghop and ICLW have kept me running around. :)

Flucky Mom said...

That is so adorable...! I can't imagine the day my little guy goes off on his first date. Sounds like you handled it very well. Way to go mama!