Saturday, November 12, 2011

They shoot (My Little) Ponies-don't they?

  ~"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them"~Erma Bombeck



   My daughters have been tap dancing on my last nerve. When they aren't at each others throats...they turn their attention to me .Let me tell you- it is a sad day when a mother has to hide in the garage-just to get away from her daughters.   "Mama!...Mama?....Mamaaaaaaaa!!!! Zoe's copying me!' "Well you're being mean to me!"  "I am not".."Yes you are!..Wheres Mama?  I'm telling on you!"..."NOOOO!!!!" "Mama!...MAMA!!!!!!???..."  "I'm in the garage."  "Where are you? I can't hear you!!" "I'm in the garage."  After a good ten minutes of not coming for me (which I don't understand- but don't question!...I mean they KNOW where I am...sort of)...they give up..and I have gotten some much cleaning done.  Hey-it works for me!

  There used to be a time when all of there problems were solved with a hug and perhaps a "My Little pony" video.  But those days are long over.  Oh, they still like hugs...it's the ponies that have gone by the wayside. Sigh...no longer can they be appeased by Pinky Pies adventures..or the hi-jinx and hilarity of Tula Rula.  No longer do we hear the ummmm...dulcimer tones of the ponies singing their theme song.  Nope.  The real world and all its drama.(well as much drama as a six and eight year old can conjure...believe me-it is a lot) has crept up on my girlies-and they aren't quite sure what to do about it....neither am I...well, except for hiding in the garage.

  This year Zoe is in school full time. Although she does love going, at the same time,she is quite anxious about all of it.  Social situations...reading..and the dreaded scissors. "Zoe...stop hitting Lily!"..."Well she has all the markers and won't give them to me!" "She doesn't have all the markers.." "Yes she does!"  "No, you decided that you didn't like your markers and threw them all over the floor before we got in the car."  crying now..."Fine! Now no one likes me!" "What? This has nothing to do with liking you..?????" "Yes it does...now you don't like me!"  No Zo...I don't like your behavior right now...but I love you with all my heart."..."Fine! Then I'll never be famous!"..."What???" still crying.. "I'm not famous!"   ..'...Well...umm...what?..What does being famous have to do throwing your markers on the floor?" "It's a secret."..."I'm really confused...you threw your markers...hit Lily..and you're crying because you aren't famous?"  "Well..WELL...famous artists know how to use scissors!!!"  Are you as confused as I am? This is NOT typical behavior for my girl...But as they say  "Life imitates art"..sigh.but in our house..Zoe imitates Lily...

 My  Lily has undergone a major transformation this past Summer.and it would appear (from what I have heard from other parents) that she is not the only one. EVERYTHING is a battle...a struggle...a fight. From the time she gets up in the morning-till the time that she goes to bed.  I really think that it would be worth the Discovery channels time to film a documentary on this phenomenon. You know, there is a very good reason why eight year old girls don't have children-simply because they would eat their young.  My girl has gone from joyful to incredibly anxious in just a few short weeks. All of a sudden her friends have become enemies...and social status is everything. The world as she knew it is upside down and she doesn't quite know how to handle things.  Besides pick on me.  I'm doing my best to teach her how to survive adjust...and for the most part she listens.  It really is a terrible time for her-and I worry that I'm not as helpful as I could be. It is just so hard difficult hard when your girl is hugging you one minute and yelling at you the next. I am so not looking forward to adolescence..

  For the most part, my girls do get along.  Seeking each other out to play..sing really loud...run around like wild women. Their bond is magical. They will spend hours together thinking up adventures for their latest obsession.  "Littlest Pet Shops"  Have you seen them?  Small, plastic-large headed oddities( in the shape of various animals) with enormous eyes.  My girls think that they are cute..I think that they are trying to kill me. Really I do!  I keep finding them in strange places...the top of the stairs...the bottom of the tub....my instep at three o'clock in the morning. I can't tell you how many times I have tripped over, knocked in to, or sat on top of one of those enormous headed bits of seething evil. Far too many to count!  Sure, I could blame my girls..could say that they just hadn't cleaned up after themselves..But-they insist it isn't them. So, the only conclusion I can come to is that "Littlest Pet Shops" want me gone...You don't believe me do you?  You think that I am exaggerating... Well, this morning, I walked out my bedroom to find this outside of my door. All of
them just sitting there...watching...waiting and watching.  I fear my days are numbered.  Please let me know  if you have any words of wisdom or advice. If you want me- I'll be in the garage.

9 comments:

Papa Bear said...

I always enjoy reading your stories. With my boys, it seems to erupt most often into physical fights over—I'm still not sure what. And instead of "Littlest Pet Shops" it's Lego landmines. Ever step on one in your bare feet at 3 am? I put a bucket on a shelf in the living room. Whenever I find a Lego or any other small object left out on the floor or whatever, I toss it in the bucket. They never seem to miss it. When the bucket is full, I assign one of the boys to put all the stuff in it away. I can now walk through every room in the house except the boys' bedroom. But I've also started wearing shoes inside the house at all times.

KWombles said...

hee! Have you had them lined up in a long congo line throughout your house? I have...

I'm sending them some rubber ducks for xmas--they don't hurt to step on!

Accidental Expert said...

I believe. I once had a few choice encounters with some Polly Pockets. Thank God they were donated a long time ago and are now probably terrorizing a whole new family.

Hang in there!

Lizbeth said...

Its Toolaroola, Pinkie Pie and their brood throwning the Littlest Pet Shop crew under the bus. I hear the Ponies get pissed when the kids trade up.

I wish I had an easy answer other than hiding in the garage. I can't speak on it as I spend most of my time on the back patio watching the kids from the window. It's going to get worse as it gets colder but I'll gladly wear a jacket and stay outside than be referee to their fights.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I have been known to lock myself into the car...but not to get away from my girls. If it's any help, most girls seem to have a little blip at about 8 and then it's done and they're wonderful and a bit more grown up and interesting until the next blip at about 14....

jazzygal said...

Sorry kathleen, reading this and all I can think of is the Chuckie Movie!! I'm really not much help, am I? But move over in your garage and I'll come hide with you (I'm good at that too!) I'll bring some wine??!!

xx Jazzy

Stephanie said...

For the moment I'm grateful I don't have daughters. Not that boys don't have their issues, but at least with boys their voices will eventually change.

Wait. No, that wasn't your point, now was it?

As for the wee Pets...I suggest getting a cage to lock them up in while not otherwise in use. You can't trust animals with over-sized heads. (cue theme song from Pinky and the Brain)

[Side note: Make sure the garage light works and has backups. Trying to hide in the garage after dark without functioning overhead lights is how I broke my wrist and you definitely do not need any more broken bones!]

kathleen said...

Sorry sorry everyone! I meant to respond sooner...but life is funny sometimes...
@Papaabear-thanks! Yup-done the Lego dance...they ARE awful! I wer shoes all the time as well!
@Kwombles-DO. NOT. GIVE. THEM. ANY. IDEAS. :)
@Accidental Expert-I'm sure that family are "Thanking" you...not..heehee
@Lizbeth-ha! probably...I am waiting for your post on how your kids have locked you out of the house!
@Bluesky-thanks...for the warning! heehee I so look forward to their 20's
@Jazzy-They are like Chuckies!! Only with bigger heads..I would love to drink wine with you! My garage is always open
@Stephanie-HA! love "their voices will eventually change" heehee...Great idea on the cage..it must have silver bars and a ring of salt around it too! Did you break your wrist just going to the garage-or were you escaping too??

Stephanie said...

I was going to light a candle so my mom and I could escape the noise for a little while (and have a smoke without poisoning my kids). Didn't work out. Ended up in the emergency room. Badness all around.

My father-in-law came over with his very big ladder, fixed the lights, installed backups. But the healing process was long and slow, and as a right-handed writer, losing my right wrist for that long was a very humbling, slowing experience. While we all need to be humbled once in a while, it's not an experience I'd recommended.