Friday, September 6, 2013

.More than enough...

~"But when I reach the place I'm goin'
  I will surely know my way.."~Wynonna Judd

   So, it has happened again.  The unthinkable.  A mother attempted to murder her daughter and then take her own life.  I chose those words carefully-because there is no way to sugar coat it -nor should there be.  It was attempted murder. It was attempted suicide.  It was the ultimate act of aggression.  The why's the how's and what ifs..are all speculation right now.  I know that I can't wrap my head around it. Maybe it is because I had written (with Kim) about this family...gotten to know them, looked at their pictures, watched their journey, shared their story..Maybe it is because I'm a mother..I just don't know.  

 What I do know is that there is a young girl-Issy, fighting for her life right now. A young girl who overnight has become the focus of news reports, blog posts and articles.  Sadly-for mostly the wrong reasons.  I see it already-From the "My wife's cousins best friends sister has a son with autism and her life is awful!"  and "See what vaccines do?" "The mother is evil!" "The mother is a martyr!" "Exonerate!" "Condemn!" "How dare you!" "How dare they!" .."And on and on it goes..and in the background behind all the noise

 Issy fights for her life.

    What I worry about-is what is going to happen a week, a month, or a year from now. Will Issy be forgotten? Her story no longer relevant?  Swept aside by the next big controversy? Only to be remembered as an afterthought, a citation, or a strong warning?  Is this human being, this young girls life only worth the platform on which people stand on? My core shreds at the thought of it.  

  My heart goes out to this family.  Yes-all of them.  As a parent, I can not imagine the depth of darkness this mother must have fallen into in order to commit such a horrible crime. I feel the immeasurable love that I have for my children and have to rationalize it this way. Have to. She had to have been in a very bad place in order to do the unspeakable.  I am incapable of looking at it any other way.  My compassion however does not make her unaccountable.  I can feel for this mother, but there is nothing in this world that justifies taking the life of your child. Nothing. I don't care if they are neuro typical, autistic or have three heads. You do not get to do that. I don't care if they are easy going, physically challenged or violently aggressive.  You don't get to do that.  

Everyone needs to remember Issy is the victim-not her mother.

 I get that when something so horrific like this happens-it is human nature to try and figure out the cause, find something to blame-to try and make sense out of the senseless.  Especially when the crime is so horrendous. BUT!  No matter how awful the crime-it is an even worse offense to blame the victim and/or the victims disability for it. Issy is fighting for her life.  That is enough for one girl to handle. More than enough. 

 My thoughts are with this family.  I hope that one day all of them may find peace.

“You were born a child of light’s wonderful secret— you return to the beauty you have always been.” ~Aberjhani


Kim Wombles said...

Yes. We are in accord, unsurprisingly.

jazzygal said...

I have to admit to not having read in detail about this horrendous story but I have heard of it.

In essence you are correct.


I don't know the full circumstances but I gather the home situation was very difficult? Not making excuses here but I have to wonder what happens in such circumstances where parents can no longer cope, have perhaps asked or even begged for services and been refused?

She must have been in such a horrible place to do such a thing.

Issy IS a victim.

Parents NEED services.

Then maybe this won't happen again?

xx Jazzy

kathleen said...

@ Kim-yup.
@Jazzy-oh absolutely-aggression needs to be discussed openly and honestly. There are not enough resources in place for families in crisis..AND it is the whole family in crisis...Yes, I can imagine it was beyond difficult at fear though-and it has already happened-is that there will be arguments among people in the community-and in all that arguing it will be forgotten that there is an individual/a human being that had an awful crime committed against her. Sad all the way around..:(

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Such a sad situation
I really feel terribly sorry for both of them :-( like you and jazzy pointed out