Saturday, December 21, 2013

I'll be (wanting Mike) Holmes for Christmas..

~"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."~ Dave Barry

Oscar was so proud to show me his(already eaten) "gingerbread house"..'s four days before Christmas and all through the kids are actually kind of calm.( all the sugar from class parties has knocked them out)  It's ME who is stressing out!.  So much to do and so few days to do it in. Which I don't mind..I really do enjoy Christmas.  It's fun. It's all the stuff leading up to Christmas that makes things a little tense. The concerts, the parties.. 

 Not a creature was stirring... Just me..desperately trying to FIND the one (impossible to find) present Lily has asked forIn our case "Zoomer" the robotic dog-which , is NO WHERE to be found.  Believe me-I have had people looking. The thing is-she'll be fine if she doesn't get it.  More than fine. It's just that she has worked really hard this year-and I wanted her to have something extra special..We don't buy them many gifts other than at Christmas and their birthdays.(even though it feels as though they have an abundance of stuff). Part of the reason is because...well, there are four of them! I also like to believe that we are teaching them the difference between "want" and "need"..That it isn't "stuff" that makes you happy..blah blah know, all those parenting things you are supposed to teach. Are they getting it?  I don't know-but in the rich fantasy section of my mind (all parents have this section-you know, that place where you imagine them growing up to be decent, kind, good and giving world policy makers) they are.

The stockings were hung by the chimney...actually they aren't. We don't have a fireplace.   When I was a kid, I used to ask my parents what they wanted for Christmas.  They always said "good kids".  As I got older, I replied "Since there is no chance of that happening-what else would you like?".."Nothing-we have everything we need."..I never fully understood that until I became a parent myself. There is really nothing that I need. The kids are happy and healthy, Omar has a good job, we have a roof over our heads...Sure, there are things that I would like to change in the world. Peace, understanding-and good will towards everyone would be great.I am doing my best to help make those things happen (i.e. raising good kids) ..Today, Oscar  asked me what it was that I wanted for Christmas..and I gave may parents answer "Good kids".."But you already have them!".."I know! So, I guess I don't want anything."

In hopes that St. Nicholas Mike Holmes soon would be there...But..*sigh* that isn't really true.  I want Mike Holmes for Christmas.( For anyone who doesn't know who he is-click on the link) No!  I don't WANT him..although he does cut a dashing figure in his overalls...I want him to come and finish fix finish my house!  Oh how I love watching his show!
He meets with a distraught homeowner whose contractor has walked out on them mid job..Sound familiar?(Although, I bet THEIR contractors never came back 18 months later(with no contact in between) asking for their tools back) And within an hour-poof! The home is fixed. The owners are teary eyed and thankful. It's like he's a white knight-but with a tool belt instead of a horse. He and his trusty crew fix everything-and then some. Pointing out all the sloppy work that had been done by their previous contractor. Now, I will admit-I don't think our contractors were sloppy per say...they were just kind of.....neglectful.(forgot that we existed)  That doesn't mean Mr. Holmes wouldn't have things to point out! No indeed! He could just look at the jobs that Omar and I have started *sigh* but just never seem to be able to finish( between doing all the various kid stuff, going to work and laundry)..and he would have a field day.  I could even manage (or at least try to manage) to look ashamed of our work...although I would probably laugh. Especially as bits of insulation fell out of the walls, and especially when he stumbled upon Omar's tool of choice( steak knife)or my elderly dogs, two chickens and three cats which are scattered(mostly the steak knives) around the house and yard. It would make for good entertainment.  I would even try to cry a little at the end as we thanked him profusely. Most likely though I would just be shocked...gobsmacked even! Imagine-painted walls instead of bits of sheetrock, finished floors-electrical outlets with real covers on them! It's like porn for the housing challenged! Oh..I really really want Mike Holmes for Christmas...

Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On Mike Holmes and Blitzen!..alright, maybe I'm getting a little carried away here. But it's Christmas-and I will allow myself to dream a little. In the mean time-I've got presents to wrap, a robot dog to (maybe) find...and some insulation that needs to be shoved back in place. I hope that you all have the merriest of Christmas's and a wonderful new year. Oh...and if you happen to see Mike Holmes..tell him I said hi.


Looking for Blue Sky said...

I'm not even going to click on the link, I just know that I would want Santa to send a Mike Holmes clone onto me too. Or any kind of handyman actually. I even asked my social worker for one once, when she asked me what would make my life easier! First time she'd ever had that request apparently :)

kathleen said...

That's so funny Bluesky-I actually asked for the same thing once! Wouldn't that be a great program to start? People with disabilities/and or families of people of disabilities having access to a good handyman? Oh if only Mike Holmes comes for Christmas-I'll be sure to ask him!

jazzygal said...

'Porn for the housing challenged'!! Love it! Loved the whole post!

I think my guy is learning the difference between 'want' and 'need' this year..... especially with his birthday being 3 days before Christmas. Everything he wants he can't have...'cos he doesn't NEED it!!

Have wonderful Christmas Kathleen... you and al your fabulous herd :-)

xx Jazzy