Crazy comes to Kathleen

"My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus"
Jimmy Buffet

It has been an odd week. We have gone from ceaseless rain to suddenly sunshine back to ceaseless rain..My restless herd has started their summer recreation program..order has been restored-for the most part. We are starting to get into the swing of summer. A different schedule, different activities..different sleep schedule. The kids are doing great-I seem to be the one having the problems..issues..trouble.

Journal entry: "It is now the 19th day of summer vacation and with the exception of about two hours..it has been raining and cold. I am afraid of my basement...I think that I am growing mold..on my body. Will there be no end to this miserable weather? Will I never feel the suns warm rays beating down on my exposed skin..causing untold damage with its U.V. rays? I don't think I can take it anymore. I may have to kill one of the dogs."

The weather has been playing havoc with my mood...tap dancing on my last nerve. Causing me to behave in a manner not quite appropriate for public consumption. I am scatter brained- restless....and very impatient. I can't seem to hold my tongue-when I should be. It is causing me problems..Especially in situations where being an adult is of the utmost importance. Situations like, getting your child evaluated.

We are currently working on having our youngest evaluated..We had already had her screened at child development services and they suggested aspergers..But it is summer time..so in order to get the ball rolling-we have to go with single evaluations..(i.e. speech, o.t.,etc.) until the fall when we can get a team diagnosis. So, we set up our first appointment with the speech therapist. I should have known it wasn't going to go well when-instead of calling me to cancel the appointment, she left a note for me at her office with her home phone number on it. Asking that I give her a call. It seems that she doesn't work on Thursdays...and was currently at home. You know "home"..the place I had driven thirty miles AWAY from to get to her office? She said that she felt bad-so she arranged a visit at my house for later that day. Gosh! How considerate...now I had to clean. So I rushed around...dusting, vacuuming...making sure there was toilet paper. Oh I hate the home visit! Given the particular mood I have been in, I should have rescheduled..

The speech therapist arrived-on time..and proceeded to work with my girly girl. Asking her questions..doing puzzles, looking at pictures. My girl complied...in her own way(i.e. no eye contact..no words except for what was necessary) So far so good..Until the speech therapist decides-that well, because she "KNOWS" autism..and she HAS worked with REALLY "autistic" people..in a "HOME"..she is going to try something a little different.( O.K, my alarm bells are going off...but I hold my tongue. The point is to get my daughter some help..maybe she knows something I don't..) She takes my girls hand and says " look at my eyes, follow them, and tell me, what I am seeing." and proceeds to walk around the house gazing left and right. Huh? My girl doesn't know what to make of this(and neither do I), and begins to just name things in the general direction that the speech therapist is looking. WTF? Is this some new form of diagnosing? Dowsing for autism? It made no sense! The therapist, seeing how my girl is answering, stops and says... "well, she is not severe...probably more moderate...or, she could just be shy." and it was "going to be up to us parents...the ball was in our court as to what to do for her." What??!! O.K..I had been nice to that point.. I had served coffee. But this was just too much. I couldn't help myself...really...I just blurted out.."ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F***ing MIND? I think I scared her with my stellar diction and perfect enunciation. Because, our meeting ended rather quickly after that. Although, I did thank her and wish her a nice afternoon. I can be well mannered.

We meet with the occupational therapist next week. I hope it is not raining. I hope she is not friends with the speech therapist.