Monday, March 8, 2010


"So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?"
He said "My dog's died" -Tim Vine

Of all the things you have to do to keep your kids healthy, taking them to the dentist is one of the worst. At least for me. My kids LOVE it, and I can not begin to understand why. They are all really picky about what goes into their mouths. Tastes, textures even appearance are important in getting them to eat. Our daily menu consists of about five things, three of them are pizza based. It isn't like I haven't tried other foods-suggested different things. I have. I have tried disguising things, name it, I've probably done it. The problem is-they always know. Before I even put it on the table..sometimes before I even attempt to make it..they know-and they complain "What's that smell?" they'll ask suspiciously. "What smell? "The one coming from the kitchen." "I haven't even started dinner yet-so I don't know what you're smelling." " I want pizza instead" "Instead of what??!" "Instead of what you're making." "But I haven't even..." sigh. Sometimes this "knowing" unnerves me. Which is why I am so surprised by their attitude towards dentistry. They certainly don't get it from me.

I don't just dislike going to the dentist, I loathe it. Just hearing the words "open please" are enough to send me running blindly into traffic. The suction, the drill..the HORROR! Sigh... I blame my mother. She had this uncanny knack for picking out the WORST dentists in the world. I wouldn't be surprised if she had had a guide book. "How to influence phobia's and gain anxiety-a mother's guide to bad dentists" It was that bad.

I ran out of my very first dental appointment at the age of three. The dentist, Dr. L, or as my brother calls him "The butcher, had grabbed my nose and yelled "HONK HONK" in my face. Terrified, I did the only thing I could think of-I bit him, hard. Which quickly led us to my mothers next pick. A dentist whose hands shook so badly, you didn't know which tooth he was working on..and neither did he! So horrific have been my dental adventures that I now need to be anesthetized just to make an appointment. Thankfully, my kids have not caught on to my dental anxiety..or the fact that I haven't gone in six years. I've adopted a "don't ask don't tell policy". So far it's working.

The other night Sammy came to me and said "Mama? Do you think I might have braces one day like you did?" "I don't know bud, maybe." "Cool!" He smiled and off he went. I don't dare let him know about my orthodontist. My mother picked him out. I was left with braces stuck on my teeth because he died during treatment.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the memories - You made me laugh - Lower left occlusion anyone? Love, Ei

Kim Wombles said...

((())) I know how you feel, although I only had one dentist that was an issue, the rest have been good. You know those breakups where the person goes it's not you, it's me? Well, it's definitely me. At least you came by your phobia honestly. :-)

Cool beans on the wellsphere badge up there. :-)

kathleen said...

Hi Eileen..yes lower left occlusion...I think that was the only tooth whose name he knew..:)

Hi Kim-sigh..this was just a sample of all the dental things I was put through..I could tell you about the dentist with the mallet..or the one with the foot operated drill-who would get distracted..I'm just glad the kids aren't feeling my anxiety.

Casdok said...

Im taking C to the dentist today! No dentist has ever seen the inside of his mouth yet!!

denise said...

You are sooo lucky! The girls actually DO have to be anesthitized
at the hospital to see the dentist. And they have to be sedated before the procedure- just to keep them still enough to get their bp checked,etc. The dentist has to do this at the hospital of course. And they always stick us into this pre-surgry room with eight other beds-that's right, there are seven other special needs kids there, usually very young, and I'm telling my kids, "Calm down, you're scaring the little kids!"

Then, post dental treatment, we are in the post-op ward.....I have gone through this six times now, and only ONCE have we gotten a nurse who wasn't either a complete freak or just full of dunb questions[you know, the classics, like, "What's her special talent?", and, "When do you think she'll learn how to talk?"]

They each have an appt in may, a week apart....ugh

denise said...

Ha, wait, I left out the classics that the dentist has said to me:

"What country did you adopt her from?"

"My uterus."

That was about Janet-who is very mixed-she does look exotic. And her dentist is asian himself. But still, she does look a bit like me!

Then there was the time when he saw one of the girls and came out to tell me, "Wow, you take terrific care of her teeth. I never see patients with such great dental hygine!"

Then, a month later, when he saw my other girl, he came out and told me that I really needed to brush her teeth EVERY DAY-the poor child was going to have dentures in 20 years if I didn't start cleaning her mouth.

Hmmm. I do/supervise/help/do all of their toothbrushing at the same time. Same toothpaste, etc. It kinda cracked me up. Obviously one of them just has crap teeth, and the other has rather perfect teeth, duh.

kathleen said...

Hi Casdok-oh..I hope it went well. I'm anxious just thinking about it..I hope he likes it..I still don't understand why my kids do..just don't question it..

Hi Denise!..hahahaha "my uterus" that is too funny..I wish that we could all just send our teeth in for servicing..and we could stay home. I also think we ought to grow teeth as we need them.
The dentist with your girlie girls must wear you out..How are they afterwards? Do they feel as though they have been betrayed by all things dental? Or are they fine with it..

denise said...

They are kind of dopey the day afterwards :)

When the drugs wear off, they are usually ok-they just need tylynol for a day or so. Scarlett has no problems with drs, hospitals, etc-but Janet is a bit overdramatic. I think it might be dental work related-not sure though. She has been getting better about it[papa & grandma both work at the same hospital afterall, and they're nice!]so hopefully this won't set her back.

Forgot to tell you that I LOVE the joke and picture on this post!

jazzygal said...

Wow Kathleen...your kids are brave!

We have the same food issues here with textures and self limiting. And Wiiboy LOVES his pizza...plain margarita only!

He hates the Dentist...gags when only the teeny mirror put in his mouth! Screamed the place down when dentist was "painting" his back teeth! God help us when he ever needs a filling.

He must take after me. I, like you HATE the dentist! Well not personally, my current dentist is great cos he understands me! I had a horrible experience in my 20's with a sadist of a dentist doing a root canal treatment on me. Think "Marathon Man"!!

A couple of years ago my current dentist tried to do an extraction on me. he sent me away to come back the following week....AFTER I'd had a valium!!! It worked too! xx Jazzy

kathleen said...