Saturday, November 6, 2010

A room with no view...



                                   "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times......"
                             ~Charles Dickens~



  It has been a rough couple of weeks here at Chez Herd.  So many things happening all at once.... The good news is that we have made a huge dent in our (so far) five year house remodel. We have replaced all the interesting brown particle board paneling with fresh drywall in the entire upstairs AND plotted out the area for a new bathroom! Yes-it looks as if we are finally going to have a second bathroom put in. We have lived for so very long with only one.  One bathroom for six people-a few of which think that clogging the toilet is "all in a days work".... One bathroom that is at least fifty miles from the bedrooms-or at least it feels that way at three in the morning.. when one of the herd needs to use it and is too afraid to make the treacherous journey alone. Oh.. there is NOTHING quite like being startled awake by a face hovering two inches from yours and the words "My belly doesn't feel good" to get your legs moving in the middle of the night!   Sadly, because of the distance, I don't think that we have ever made it in time in all the years we have lived here...sigh...I'm thinking that it might be time to replace the carpet on the stairs.

  Our house was built before the popularity of indoor plumbing (or as I like to call it-The" Porcelain  Age") So, I'm guessing that the original owners of my house, not used to the luxury of an indoor "privy" had no idea of where to put a bathroom in. So either they were just used to the inconvenience of  "going" outdoors-or they were masochists-because they stuck it in the most inconvenient of places. The kitchen.  Yes, If I chose to, I could cook dinner and greet guests at the door all from the comfort of my shower...and NOTHING screams ambiance more than a soaking wet  naked child walking into the kitchen while you are cooking dinner..It can be quite the conversation starter.
" Why are you wet?"
"I'm not wet"
"You're soaking wet!!..and you're naked!! where are your clothes!!
"My clothes are wet."
"I kind of figured that..why are they wet?"
"I fell"
"What do you mean you fell??!!"
"I dropped my headband."
"What do you mean?"
"I dropped it in and I had to get it out"
" Where did you drop........oh."
  Although I don't expect conversations like the above to cease anytime soon...it will be nice to have them someplace other than in the kitchen.  So you have to understand my unbridled joy over this upcoming addition to our home.(yes, I probably need to get out more)

  Surprisingly, the herd doesn't seem to be affected by all of this chaos. They have been pretty excited to come home every day and see what work has been done.   There was a time not too long ago, when I couldn't even hang pictures on the wall without a total freak out(with torn pictures and shattered frames)-when any change to the home environment  involved intense negotiation- so this is huge progress .HUGE. No, the only really big issue that we are having during all this construction..is the misplacing of things. Or rather, MY misplacing of things.

  We have two of the nicest gentlemen (friends of ours) doing the work..every day they have hung Sheetrock..mudded the walls and sanded off plaster.  In fact, there is so much plaster dust that when you walk by, you wind up looking like an extra from the movie Scarface. The house is a total and absolute mess. So what do I do?  I worry that these friends of ours will think I'm a total failure at cleaning...so every day, before they arrive, I scurry to hide the piles of dirty laundry and other crap from sight.   Heaven forbid they think I keep an untidy house!  The problem is...well, I keep misplacing things...like ALL of Omar's socks..our teaspoons...and fourteen chocolate chip cookies.  I know-it's weird...but there you have it. And no...the cookies weren't eaten...they were tucked away in a bag on the top of the fridge...the socks were in the laundry and the spoons in the drawer.Where they are..well, your guess is as good as mine..My hope is that there is a crazed person wandering my neighborhood..wearing thirty pairs of socks..playing the spoons and eating cookies.  My fear is that I stuck them somewhere like in one of the workers toolboxes and my secret will be found out...and the workmen will think that I am a crappy housekeeper! Oh the shame!  The shame!
sigh...I'm getting carried away...plaster dust can do that...

   I am cautiously optimistic that we may actually get a second bathroom in before Christmas-THIS year! We have been keeping very steady in this round of remodel..and I think we just might get it done...think...and hope. I'll let you know how it goes..And please, if you should see a strange person wandering around wearing thirty pairs of socks, playing the spoons and eating cookies...please send them my way.  Winter is coming and Omar needs his socks.                

16 comments:

@jencull (jen) said...

I was just about to get up and do some laundry when I saw you had posted. I tell you that by way of explaining that I also have to run around doing mad things to keep my house tidy. My new boss was calling to my house and I would be meeting him for the first time. I had to pick the rooms I thought he might go into, tidy them and close the doors on the others lol.

Yaay for a second bathroom, I hope you have it before Christmas!

Jen

Lynn said...

I have the opposite problem here...4 bathrooms. Bathrooms at every turn. You are never more than 2 feet away from a bathroom. I have no idea who thought a house this size needed 4 bathrooms. Before you get jealous think of keeping them all clean. You are welcome to have 2 of mine.

kathleen said...

Thanks Jen..yeah, I don't understand my need to impress the workmen..it's odd..sigh I'm hoping we have it by Christmas as well..this year..

Hi Lynn..oh I am envious..I would take one of them and put a big lock on it and keep it all for myself..I know what you mean about keeping them clean-we lived somewhere once in distant memory that had two bathrooms. It was just Omar and myself at the time..and both bathrooms were always dirty...sigh..I will take you up on your offer though..when can I come pick them up? ;0

KWombles said...

:-) Hee, you really do rock, you know that, right? Awesome; well, I'm sure Omar doesn't think it's awesome since he has cold feet, but I bet he thinks the way you take whatever is happening in your lives and find the funny in it is, indeed, the height of awesomeness.

I'm gonna be giggling randomly today as I grade my stack of papers and imagine someone wondering around your neighborhood in all those socks with all those spoons. Bet the cookies are all eaten, though!

K Bjornstad said...

This post made me laugh. But it's awesome that the house is getting fixed up. It made me think of my friend's Civil War era house, where the bathroom was added on in the 20's, and it's very obvious that it was not original. When you walk into it, it's lower than the rest of the house, like it's sunk a bit, and the floor kind of feels weak. Luckily that's getting fixed soon, too.

Casdok said...

I wouldnt have survived without a second bathroom and its only C and i!
Fingers crossed for you :)

Jean said...

I grew up initially in a house with NO bathroom (!!!!)...and when I was 7 we upgraded to a house with a single actual flushing toilet...between 7 kids, 2 parents and approx a thousand waifs and strays who wandered thru our home.
Now I have 3 loos in our house (one for each kid!), and I still have the horrors of doing the dying-to-pee dance I knew so well as a kid. I think I need help xxx

Big Daddy Autism said...

I have never been so grateful for my bathrooms as I am right now. I feel kinda guilty that we have three for only four people.

Clay said...

They probably put the bathroom next to the kitchen to avoid the necessity of adding many feet of piping.

You could avoid some of the mess from joint compound (not "plaster"), by hanging a sheet of plastic over the doorway where work is being done. That's what I used to do, and the plastic sheets are sold in the paint stores, very cheap.

Stephanie said...

I just have to say how I love your mix of real-life and hilarious...you do that so very well!

Once we have the money, we'll need to either move (which noone but me is overly keen on) or renovate. I always assumed to do the second, we'd have to do the first at least temporarily. Now I wonder if it the boys might actually be okay with it once we have the funds to do it. Here's to hoping!

(Bathroom in the kitchen kind of makes sense, depending on how old your house is. If they were laying new pipe when such work was especially expensive, they'd want to minimize the pipe laying as much as possible, thus bathroom and kitchen right together to make for as little piping as possible. But, yes, wholly inconvenient!)

Laura said...

Super funny! Thanks for the laugh.

YAY!!! For the new bathroom. Merry Christmas!

(maybe Santa will bring Omar some new socks?)

kathleen said...

Thanks kim-we do try to turn the awful into funny-sometimes it works.;0

Hi K Bjornstad!-Thanks..Our house is 130 years old and there are many "interesting" features that have been added along the years..We had a staircase that led to nowhere for a while..:)

Hi Casdok-Thanks :)

Hi Jean-My fear is that by the time we actually do get this bathroom in..I'll have so much bladder damage I'll be in diapers and it won't matter anymore. Perhaps we can start a support group?

Hi Big Daddy-Perhaps I can use your guilt to my advantage? I'll be over with the family in the morning for showers..don't worry, we'll bring our own towels..:)

Hi Clay-sigh..we found that out after doing one room (I should have emailed you! and asked your advice) Our problem now is that we have torn down drop ceilings and weird partitions (the old owners actually covered up tin ceilings) So we have huge spaces with no doorways to cover..so if you have a solution-we are all ears! I think you are right on the plumbing-weird thing is that they did run pipes to the upstairs and then removed them...

Hi Stephanie! Thank you..I am amazed at how well the kids are taking this-only three years ago, this would have been impossible..sometimes necessity cause us to try what we deem the unthinkable...sigh...sometimes it works! Fingers crossed for you. :)

Hi Laura-thanks..We are hoping for a Merry Christmas-THIS YEAR..since we haven't found the odd sock wearing man..I had to cave and buy Omar some more socks..he was a little annoyed going to work in my sweat socks...:)

K- floortime lite mama said...

omg you made me LOL with this one
Love it

Liz Ditz said...

My house was built originally in 1951 with 3 bedrooms & 1 bath. The second bath was added later -- it measures 5 feet 4 inches by 6 feet & has a shower, sink & toilet.

The house I used to live in had a funny arrangement -- there was a sort of hallway, off of which there were four compartments: two toilets, a shower room, and a room with a tub. The sinks (two) were arranged along one side of the hall. It was pretty convenient, as the toilets were available even when someone was bathing or showering.

jazzygal said...

OOH..How exciting!! I do hope you get your 2nd bathroom before Christmas! Only 3 of us in this house and we just got a 2nd bathroom 2 years ago when we got extension done. We don't know ourselves now... it's great.

Great post! Funny as ever. I'd say those missing items will show up in the most unlikely of places when you are no longer looking for them..... I just hope they're not...ahem..."wet"!!

Good luck with the rest of your re-modelling plans!

xx Jazzy

Angela said...

Oh my gosh...I am really sorry but I can't stop laughing. do I need to send Omar some socks? :) Hope your bathroom gets finished this year!