Thursday, January 27, 2011

Nothing says "Kathleen" like balloons and kittens...

  Wow..what an unexpected delight! bbsmum over at Mum Accepting Autism has bestowed this rather whimsical award on me-and she didn't even know that "Unicorn" was one of my middle names!  Thank you so much . In order to accept this award I have to do the following..

"1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes. It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom. It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here.

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make stuff up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things. "  

 Now, I copied and pasted this from her blog. I'm not sure if she would really "Harass me incessantly for failing to follow the rules"-However, because (according to her) she can do an uncannily accurate Sylvester Stallone impression I'm afraid not to comply! ( Think Rambo) 

1) On the third Thursday of every month I perform a puppet show that teaches the importance of dental hygiene for the inmates at the state penitentiary. I have made so many new friends.  They have taught me so much. I like to think that in my own small way that I have helped them too. Having strong teeth and healthy gums is important on the outside. I mean really-what is one of the first things you notice about  a person?  Their teeth! During a hold up or a bank robbery..I would think you would like to look your best-especially if you are caught by hidden camera!  One can never be too prepared-that's what I say!

2) I am proficient at Irish step dancing. I really had no choice in the matter.Starting in the third grade, our gym options were either dance class or cleaning the rectory. I chose dance. Both Sisters Catherine Marita and Helen Eugene were harsh and demanding task masters. To this day I can still see them- habits flying (they were against Vatican 2) holding up their skirts and eighty pound rosary beads while their feet beat out a rapid staccato to "Job of the Journeywork" on the gym floor-while at the same time yelling at us  to "pull your skirts over your knees"!  It is an image I would like to forget. 

3) I collect toilet paper cozies.( most people have them for tea pots-but I don't drink tea. )You know those crocheted little "hats" that go over the spare roll of toilet paper in your guest bath? (That is if you had a separate guest bath)  I keep it in our one bathroom. sigh. In general it keeps the kids from throwing it in the sink-although, they have all from time to time taken them out to play with. I have them for all of the holidays.  A jack 'o lantern for Halloween, A Santa face for Christmas..Although in my house, the odder the better.  Right now I have one of Barrack Obama in honor of presidents day.  You can buy them at craft fairs-especially the ones  at senior centers. 

4) I was fired from a job because of "microphone abuse". It was back when I was going to college. I needed a summer job to help pay for my "extracurricular" activities..oh..and rent. I found gainful employment working at a fast food restaurant.   I was the only woman working that was under the age of sixty five.  I was also the only woman without a visible mustache. The other ladies were very cliquish -(must have been a mustache thing) and totally ignored me.  Now, my job required that I take the customers orders and announce them over a microphone to the ladies in the kitchen... the ladies WHO IGNORED me in the kitchen. I don't like being ignored.  So, I used what I had available-(my microphone) to make sure that they paid attention.  I sang the orders..I sang for burgers and curly fries I sang about extra pickles and holding the mustard..and when there were no orders-I sang about hair nets and loneliness and perhaps...even mustaches..Oh how we laughed! the manager escorted me out of the restaurant.  It was an interesting three days.

5)  When I was seven years old-I bent over and "mooned"(sort of-I was wearing underwear) many of the tri-state( New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut) area's Pre-schoolers.  On live television.   There was a children's show called "Romper Room".  My neighbor( a boy named Walter) was a cast member. From time to time, cast members were allowed to bring guests to watch the show. If the guests were children, they were invited to participate in some of the segments.  I played "Bend and Stretch"..Miss Louise (the television "teacher") had everyone stand in a circle while she sang "Bend and stretch reach for the stars...etc.) while the children acted it out by bending and stretching...Being slightly precocious-I bent and stretched with great vigor! I was on television! I was a star! Unfortunately, my back was to the camera...and I was wearing a dress..did I mention that this was LIVE television?  I do believe that my mother sweat publicly for the first time ever in her life that day.

  So there you have it.  One is an absolute truth, one is mostly truth and the other three are bald faced lies.  I know, I bent the rules just a little bit.  But I'm testing bbsmum ..I want to see if she'll come over and go all "Rambo" on me for it.  Now for my victims  choices of who should receive this prestigious award in all it's sparkley glory....

Kim-over at "Countering"

D.S. Walker-over at "dswalkerauthor"

Laura-at "Life in the house that Asperger built"

Papa Bear-at "Goldilocks and the three bears"

Scott-at "On the spectrum"

Afterwards, link your post to the MEMEtastic bloghop!

I picked these blogs because I like them!! I think they will all in their own way have fun with this..and I look forward to reading them..


Life in the House That Asperger Built said...

Thanks! No...really....thanks.


@jencull (jen) said...

hhmmm, I can't imagine the nuns encouraging you to life your skirts *that* high, on the upside if that one is true you can teach me how to do it when we meet because I can't do Irish Dancing rofl

I did this meme and found it hilarious, Jillsmo has a linky going on her blog to track where this meme goes if you want to link up to it:)


Big Daddy Autism said...

Ooooh. I hope the Romper Room one was at least partly true. I was on Romper Room as kid too. I did not moon anyone but the host refused to say "... and I see Big Daddy, and ..."

denise said...

I pick number 4!

Sorry those mustache ladies were so mean to you. I have a mustache, and I never use it to lord about my Itallian superiority. [ Of course, I pluck/wax/bleach/shave mine-it always seems like the 'mean' mustachias are those who are proud of the ugly thing, ha!]

autismand said...

... there, did you see it? No? I'll do it again... There. That was my Stallone impression. The expression, the lip movement... yeah, I'm a dead ringer. Good, huh?
And I cut'n'pasted the rules so it's actually Jillsmo who is going to tear you to shreds for disobeying her. Don't expect me to help you. I'm busy practising my Schwarzenegger.
Gotta be #3, yes?

Anonymous said...

How fun! I think the toilet paper story is mostly true. I don't see you with an Obama cover though. I can't decide which one is true although I like the Irish step-dancing one myself! Now, can I come up with anything half as creative? I have to think about this one. Thanks for thinking of me I think....???

Kim Wombles said...

Hee, those were good ones. :) Thanks for bestowing this one on me. I had fun trying to make up stories as good!

Lynn said...

Toilet paper cozies for sure. No contest. Hands down. What do I win?

Anonymous said...

I sure enjoyed this one. Lucky me, I know which is true and almost true. The thing is, none of them are that far fetched! :)

Love, Ei

Looking for Blue Sky said...

My nan used to collect the toilet roll cozies, but somehow I think the true one is the TV mooning!

This is a just a brilliant meme and it's gone everywhere! Mine is here:

kathleen said...

@ life in the house...heehee It was MY pleasure..hee really it was. :)

@ Big daddy-Do you remember Mr. Doo bee? Sigh..changed my life..

@Jen after a couple of drinks ANYONE can step dance! Thanks for the linky..didn't see it-put it on the post..:)

@anonymous-remember how Sister Helen Eugene sharpened pencils?

@Denise...maybe...maybe not..:)

@bbsmum-holy crap..for a minute there I expected Burgess Meredith to come out and say "You can do it Rocky!" Damn you ARE talented..You ought to think about going on the road with looking forward to your "Arnold"

@dswalker...perhaps I step dance WITH cozies?

@kim-thanks :)

@Lynn-why a cozy with your blog button of course!

@bluesky-maybe I'm channeling the creativity of my ancestors...

Stephanie said...

I'm guessing 5 as absolute truth and 3 as sort of. I would pick 4, but I've known lots of people who worked for fast food places, and the employees are rarely mostly or all elderly. The mustaches I believe, though!

(BTW, thank you!)

jazzygal said...

Hilarious Kathleen! You are so good at this! You've just reminded me that I was tagged for this too...thing is I'm a real bad liar...and I'm not good at picking out lies either. I'd believe anything!!

How on earth am I gonna do this one??!! Better get my thinking hat on ;-)

xx Jazzy

Scott Lynn said...

Congratulations on your awards, and thanks for the nom!