17, 12, 100 with miles to go-but at least I get sleep...

"Men are from earth.  Women are from earth.  Deal with it."  George Carlin

 Saturday mornings have evolved in our household. I woke up today on my own. How lovely it is to open your eyes at your leisure! To wake up when your body tells you to. You see, in the not so distant past it was very different. No longer am I woken up by four children, their faces a half inch from mine..having a very loud discussion on whether or not I was going to get up soon-

  Thinking back now...it has been twelve years since I was able to do this-twelve years exactly. I remember back to the beginning..It was a glorious fall morning as we made our way to the hospital.  My water had broken the night before-and aside for some slight back pain, I was doing pretty well.  So well in fact that I stupidly innocently exclaimed "This is labor? I can do this! Piece of cake!"  sigh.. I was so very young and ignorant.  I had not yet been introduced to the world of pitocin..I had not yet found myself begging asking for the anesthesiologists home address after my epidural fell out. (yes, I was more than willing to drive there.) I had not yet known what it was like to hold a newborn baby in my arms..the terror and wonder of it..oh and euphoria (labor was over) I had no idea of what to expect over time..what the next twelve years would bring..The ups the downs-twists and turns..I certainly didn't know how very blessed I was.


 Today my Sammy-my wonderful boy turns twelve.. Oh I know sometimes I make him angry, make him do things like homework, cleaning his room...tying his own shoes..I know I have made some mistakes..said the wrong things..didn't understand what was going on in his life. Can't tell you how many times I have wanted to kick myself..wanted to take my words back..wanted to jump in and take over because I didn't think he could handle some things on his own. Too many times to count. And yet, regardless of all my mistakes..here he stands..Joyful and loving..an absolutely incredible boy. I look at him (well really- all of my kids) all that he is and is becoming and count my blessings.  Every second of every minute of every day since he was born, has been a privilege and an honor..a joy and an adventure.  Yeah, we've had our rough times..but who doesn't.  I will say though- that having a partner in crime parenting has made a difference.

  Not only is it Sammy's birthday-but it is our seventeenth anniversary as well. To quote the Grateful Dead.."What a long strange trip it's been."  What started out as..well..a fling (for me it was lust at first sight) has turned into the adventure of a life time. Through thirty plus moves..being broke..being solvent..through fire and flood..near homelessness..three houses..running a business together..legal issues..and oh so much more..Here we are-with four incredible children..more in love than the day we were married. Omar has been the anchor to my wind..my constant companion..my best friend and my biggest champion. He holds the part of my heart not reserved for our children. Together we raise our wonderful babies..live our lives, dream our dreams...Together- we are "home".

  This is the one hundredth post for this blog. I started writing almost two years ago out of frustration. I was becoming so very annoyed with how autism was being played out in the media. I couldn't relate to any of it.  Especially when I was being told by celebrities like Oprah that families like mine were tragic. We aren't tragic..we are a comedy-sometimes of errors..but a comedy nonetheless. My goal when I started this blog, was to write at least one post a week. This was a place for me to tell our story-in my own way.  To tell the truth-I didn't expect to be read...didn't even think about it. The fact that I am..well, it's thrilling..and flattering..and all kinds of wonderful things.  I thank all of you who have kept up with me..who have commented or just stopped by and read. It really is very lovely of you. It also inspires me to keep at it..to write that one post a week..it gives me purpose....and a reason to write. So Thanks...

  So as it is my anniversary and Sammy's birthday...AND I have written my post for the week..I am going to go wrap some presents...and enjoy the wonderful day that this is. I do hope that Omar gets home from work soon..theres cake....double chocolate...and it's calling my name.