I can name that dinner in five notes!

~"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. "~ Dr. Seuss

"Mama!..Mama!!  Come quick Oscar's bleeding!"  I can tell you quite truthfully, that NOTHING wakes a parent up quicker than words like those-not even coffee.  I flew out of bed-FLEW- to find Oscar standing in the hallway- holding a wet and bloody towel under his arm..which made his side all wet and bloody...and far worse looking than it really was. This was not the first time this has happened. Oscar has a skin tag type of thing up on his side-that he just needs to pick at. .  (we are waiting on a dermatologist appt.)  We have told him (in no uncertain terms)  to "LEAVE IT ALONE!!!"..we have even kept it covered with a band-aid to take away the urge..So as I flew out of my bed Saturday morning-bleary eyed pumped full of non caffeinated terror to find that he had just picked at it-I was..well, I wasn't nice. "I told you to leave it alone!! Why are you picking at that AGAIN??!!"  And between the "We told you not too's" and "Why did you's" I noticed my two boys were just  standing there..staring at me..in their pajama's and it was still kind of dark out.."but mama...I didn't..I was still in bed.." "Yeah Mama! Oscar was hurt and he woke me up and I got you..wasn't I supposed to do that?" Sigh..Did you ever have one of those moments when you want to..kick yourself?  Sink into the floor? When you wish you could press the rewind button and start all over again?  I do... frequently. Oh, it is one thing when you are talking to another adult-you can try and explain yourself and either it is fixed or it isn't. Oh well..I am learning to let those things go...But with your kids?  That's a whole other story..

  So when the realization hit that Oscar somehow did this in his sleep..and as he stood there with pools of water welling in his enormous green eyes..I pulled him in close..hugging him and apologizing "Oh Oscar..buddy..I am so very sorry for yelling..I made a mistake..I wasn't thinking..I just woke up and I was half asleep and scared..can you forgive me?"  He hugged me back..and said "You made a mistake."...We cleaned him up..and went on with the day..A very long day.  A day in which he reminded me of our early morning mishap at least twenty or so times. "Mama..you made a mistake".to which I answered "Yes, I really did and I am so sorry" each and every one of those times.  Repetition sometimes keeps me humble.

  Repetitive questions are a way of life at our house.. I think it is the kids way of sorting things out ..of making sure that they see things as they really are. Granted-it can be a tad bit hard on the person being questioned...perhaps even difficult.   Being asked "what's for dinner?" forty or fifty times in the course of an afternoon- could cause a little anxiety for the innocent mother...having four children do it consecutively might make said  mother dream of running away to join the circus . ( Unfortunately my fear of clowns keeps me from pursuing the circus life)...So,in dealing with what could be stressful.  I have had to learn to be a bit .. creative. I sing songs.  Not just any songs mind you. I take whatever tune that happens to be going through my head and change the lyrics to whatever happens to be for dinner(usually pizza-but that's another post). Show tunes seem to work best.  "The oven is alive with the sound of pizza"  and Climb every pizza" from "The Sound of Music"..are regular family favorites..and who could forget "Pizza..I just made a dinner named pizza.." from "West side Story"..? Oh the possibilities are endless. The thing is-it works. The kids laugh-and I am amused instead of overwhelmed... Because the last thing I want to do is get overwhelmed by something that they need to do..something that makes their world a little less confusing. They certainly don't need that.

  So even though I wanted to kick myself for what happened with Oscar..I have gotten over it....sort of. (Sigh...there are times as a parent when you need to learn to forgive yourself..AND give your children the opportunity to forgive you as well.) Most importantly, Oscar has gotten over it-which is an incredible accomplishment.  Things haven't always come easy for my boy. Out of all my kids it would seem that he has had the most difficulties..has had to work more..try harder.  I look back to just six short years ago when he was first diagnosed...when all we were told was "We don't know" and "maybe-maybe not"..and I look at all he has done since then.  My lovely boy has worked so very hard.  .Yet,.he has more humor and laughter than anyone I know. He has such joy and I find myself breathless in the remarkable and loving person that he is.

My Oscar will be ten years old this week.  Ten years...two hands..a full decade. How did that happen?  When did that happen?    I can't even imagine what the next ten years will bring..how far he will go..how much he will accomplish. I simply can't. Because if I have learned  anything in the last ten years it is that I no longer need to bother with guessing games. Because when I look at my beautiful son- I see only possibility.  Happy Birthday my wonderful boy...and yes, we will be having pizza for dinner.