Jen, has started another blog gems hop-yes, it is air your archives time again! This week, the prompt is-creative...so I thought I would share a little of my herds creativity...and the anxiety it has caused me...
Bleacher wail..
March in New England brings melting snow, the desperate hope of spring and the youth basketball season to our little town. Every Saturday, parents of eight to twelve year olds gather in the school gymnasium to watch their children compete. This is my son Sammy's second year playing on a team. The games are short enough for him to keep focus (about twenty five minutes) and he enjoys being with the other kids. Every Saturday morning, I (frantically) gather up the herd(getting four kids dressed and a travel mug of coffee out the door can take intense negotiation), and we make our way over to watch Sammy play in that weeks game.
My other three kids love going to Saturday basketball. For one reason-and one reason alone. The bleachers. You know, those gigantic wooden structures, that unfold from the walls of the gymnasium, creating instant seating for a hundred or so people. Those massive wooden things with hinges that shake and bounce as your kids run up and down them...I hate them. The person who invented these anxiety causing monstrosities, was definitely not a parent. What parent in their right mind would design something that rises fifty feet in the air with seating resembling an enormous staircase, WITH NO RAILINGS?! It is a straight drop down-and if you are a child between the ages of 2 and 10-where do you want to sit? At the edge of course!!(If I had my way they would have seat belts and shoulder harnesses-and be made out of foam) What is the FIRST thing that any kid wants to do when they see them?... Run to the top.... And then back down..and back up.. fifty thousand times. My kids can be particularly creative. Simply running up and down is boring to them. Oh no, they need to be creative-to challenge the laws of gravity, to laugh in the face of danger...to age their already aged mother. They will run up sideways and come down backwards, they will go up sitting and come down sliding. They will hop and twirl and play balance beam. They will come down backwards hopping on one foot with their eyes closed, while reciting the alphabet.They will do all this without regard to life, limb, or their mothers mental health. There is so much tension in the gym on Saturday mornings, most of it caused by my children.
I try to keep track of the game. I am there to support my son. It is just so difficult to both watch a game and keep your children from killing themselves. On the court, the boys, all attired in baggy shorts, run back and forth-all elbows and knees. On the bleachers..the other three also hop back and forth-with their eyes closed-at the very top-trying to touch the ceiling. Sammy gets the ball and immediately passes it to another player. This is a big improvement from last year. Back then, if he got the ball, he would giggle uncontrollably. Or, if he saw a friend on the opposing team, he would just drop the ball so he could give him a hug. This year, he is much more focused. He passes the ball with intent...he picks a player to guard, and jumps up and down in front of him frantically waving his arms. Someone shouts "way to go Sammy!".. My boy is appreciated .( There are definite attributes to living in a small town.) I on the other hand am twisting and turning, trying to watch the game AND catch any of my kids should they take a nose dive. I am NOT poetry in motion. I look like an ad for incontinence. One eye on the game, cheering loudly- and the other tracking the movement of three very creative gymnasts-whisper yelling "Get back HERE!!"....Oh how I fantasize about covering them all in pillows-or at least duct taping them next to me...When, finally, the buzzer goes off. The game is over. There is no winner, they don't keep score. But I....I feel like a champion. All of my children are walking out of the gym...ALIVE-uninjured..in one piece!! We have survived yet another Saturday basketball game. *sigh* Only seven more days until the next game. I wonder if it is wrong to pray for a snowstorm...or a bleacher malfunction...or for Omar to have off so he can take them...
My other three kids love going to Saturday basketball. For one reason-and one reason alone. The bleachers. You know, those gigantic wooden structures, that unfold from the walls of the gymnasium, creating instant seating for a hundred or so people. Those massive wooden things with hinges that shake and bounce as your kids run up and down them...I hate them. The person who invented these anxiety causing monstrosities, was definitely not a parent. What parent in their right mind would design something that rises fifty feet in the air with seating resembling an enormous staircase, WITH NO RAILINGS?! It is a straight drop down-and if you are a child between the ages of 2 and 10-where do you want to sit? At the edge of course!!(If I had my way they would have seat belts and shoulder harnesses-and be made out of foam) What is the FIRST thing that any kid wants to do when they see them?... Run to the top.... And then back down..and back up.. fifty thousand times. My kids can be particularly creative. Simply running up and down is boring to them. Oh no, they need to be creative-to challenge the laws of gravity, to laugh in the face of danger...to age their already aged mother. They will run up sideways and come down backwards, they will go up sitting and come down sliding. They will hop and twirl and play balance beam. They will come down backwards hopping on one foot with their eyes closed, while reciting the alphabet.They will do all this without regard to life, limb, or their mothers mental health. There is so much tension in the gym on Saturday mornings, most of it caused by my children.
I try to keep track of the game. I am there to support my son. It is just so difficult to both watch a game and keep your children from killing themselves. On the court, the boys, all attired in baggy shorts, run back and forth-all elbows and knees. On the bleachers..the other three also hop back and forth-with their eyes closed-at the very top-trying to touch the ceiling. Sammy gets the ball and immediately passes it to another player. This is a big improvement from last year. Back then, if he got the ball, he would giggle uncontrollably. Or, if he saw a friend on the opposing team, he would just drop the ball so he could give him a hug. This year, he is much more focused. He passes the ball with intent...he picks a player to guard, and jumps up and down in front of him frantically waving his arms. Someone shouts "way to go Sammy!".. My boy is appreciated .( There are definite attributes to living in a small town.) I on the other hand am twisting and turning, trying to watch the game AND catch any of my kids should they take a nose dive. I am NOT poetry in motion. I look like an ad for incontinence. One eye on the game, cheering loudly- and the other tracking the movement of three very creative gymnasts-whisper yelling "Get back HERE!!"....Oh how I fantasize about covering them all in pillows-or at least duct taping them next to me...When, finally, the buzzer goes off. The game is over. There is no winner, they don't keep score. But I....I feel like a champion. All of my children are walking out of the gym...ALIVE-uninjured..in one piece!! We have survived yet another Saturday basketball game. *sigh* Only seven more days until the next game. I wonder if it is wrong to pray for a snowstorm...or a bleacher malfunction...or for Omar to have off so he can take them...
10 comments:
:-) I like the blog gems; getting to read old posts is like visiting an old friend.
I love the "I look like an ad for incontinence." hee!
GREAT POST! I love your humor. :-)
Oh Lordy..I get cold sweats just thinking about gymnasiums and those awful bleachers. More to do with my lack of athletic ability than what you were anxious about. Hey, you left with who you came with and they were all in one piece...you're a superstar!
You always know you are special when you are just happy that all your kids come walking out of the game :) Love it!!
Being a complete non-athlete (surprise) I kinda appreciate Sammy's approch to the game last year better. Giggling and talking to friends sounds much more fun than passing and playing defense. I bet Oscar would agree with me.
We have bleachers as well, and I've had to haul Smiley and wheelchair up the stairs to the viewing area with aspie boy so we can watch my eldest in her gymnastic competitions. But now I know I'm lucky that I only had one child causing chaos in the back row, and the front row and everywhere else!
You are brave, brave, brave.
Such an outing with all three (let alone FOUR)...nope, don't do it. Avoid it however possible.
(Except for special environment or with many more dedicated adults.)
Very brave to have three children running and down bleachers while cheering for the fourth on the basketball court! This is why I stopped at two kids, well that and I was already too old without them aging me more!
Sorry I didn't see these!!
2Stephanie-heehee..either brave-or just..well, necessity is the mother of?..it was either be stuck at home-or go out and in the middle of being out thinking about how much I would prefer being stuck at home.:) The early years-(when they were mostly toddlers)..just to go get milk could be a huge undertaking. Trial and error..some really horrid adventures..but we survived. So now going out is relatively easy..we just had to do it a couple million times first.
@DSwalker-heehee..I really really hate bleachers..they have aged me. This was the first year we didn't deal with them..and I am sooooooo happy!
I took the boys out a lot when they were younger. What we learned is that everybody is a lot happier when outings are 2-3 adults to all the kids or 1 adult and 1 child.
Of course, my husband being a stay-at-home dad and me working from home helps a lot with that. Perhaps I just haven't allowed enough "necessity."
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