Saturday, November 16, 2013

Mental floss...

~" We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist."~ Joseph Heller



           
So, I had my first root canal ever yesterday.  I don't recommend it. Although, I feel like I should get some sort of award -or at least have been given a party..Not for having done this-but for having avoided one for almost fifty years.  Which considering my experience with all things "dentist", is a pretty amazing feat.

  My first dental experience ended in blood-the dentists.  I must have been all of three..Yet, I can still remember the light blue booster seat I was placed on...I remember the bright lights, the smells and equipment...I remember sitting there-wide eyed and trusting- taking it all in..as innocent as any quiet three year old can be..when seemingly- out of nowhere- a GIANT HAND -attached to a white smocked man- swooped in, grabbed my nose-and SQUEEZED it, while simultaneously yelling "Honk! Honk!" What else could I do but bite him (hard) and run. Unfortunately, having short legs...I did not get very far. Needless to say,we had a bit of a strained relationship after this. It did not help that I refused to open my mouth more than two inches...or that he had learned his trade from the Marqui de Sade school of  dentistry. I remember being thrilled when we moved (I was 11) and my mother excitedly announced that we would be going to a new dentist. Not only would the dentist be new-he also had "modern equipment!"...it was "high speed and electric!"  . ( I had no idea that there were options...)

  Our new dentist seemed fine-at first....Until he uttered his first "open please"..Sure, he had all modern equipment..but, as I innocently sat there. his hands slowly coming towards my mouth (with the mirror and pointy thing) I saw that he also had Parkinson's disease I am not kidding. This was the dentist my mother was so excited about. I don't know what it was..but she seemed to have had a knack-a special skill-a talent even- for picking the absolute worst...the bottom of the barrel..the least professional person when it came to doctors and dentists. I would not be surprised if she had a special directory of them. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this till much later in life.  For instance- It wasn't until I was in my late 20's that I found out that most people had Novocaine for dental work.  I had thought that it was only used in surgery...So, maybe now you can understand why I believe that I deserve recognition for having had a root canal?  

  I do have a wonderful dentist now.  She insists on taking the utmost care of both me and my teeth.  She also insists that I come to my appointments heavily medicated(and with a driver).  It works out pretty well.
Unfortunately, my past experiences caused me to neglect my teeth for many years. Which sadly, I'm paying for  now. I try to use myself as an example to my kids. "This is why you brush and floss!" I tell them..and for the most part they are pretty good.  except for Zoe-who thinks that brushing your teeth is "boring." But-more importantly...they like the dentist that they go to. They actually enjoy going. (I know!) The fact that he has arcade games of both Pac-man and Space Invaders and he plays videos for them is just icing on the cake.

 I really hope that they don't have the dental problems that I deal with..I'm forever telling them "You only get one set of adult teeth!" Which kind of annoys me..I mean-I don't care of you are religious or scientific-or even a bit of both..but doesn't one set of adult teeth seem like a design flaw-I really think that it could have been done better. This is one of the questions I pose to my dentist...along with "Why teeth? I mean-what is it about teeth that inspired you to learn your craft?"..but she just smiles indulgently at me..as if I'm just very heavily medicated..which I am..but....I digress..

the whole point of this post was to say that I had a root canal yesterday and am too medicated to write this week...and..well...yeah.


1 comment:

K Wombles said...

:) I've had two...don't ever want to have another.