"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific"Lily Tomlin
Oscar was home sick last week. When he's sick nothing makes him feel better than comfort and reassurance..he heads straight to the open arms and radiant glow... of the television ...sigh..that is where Oscar feels most relaxed. I look at it this way-If he is calm, he is resting. His body will have some time to recover. Normally, I don't pay too much attention. As long as he has his cartoons and snacks, he is a happy boy. But today.. today was different. Instead of the usual variety of shows, Oscar for some unknown reason chose to watch "Barney". You know, the giant purple dinosaur who is always so damn happy. Not only is HE happy, he is surrounded by strange hyper animated children who are happy as well. It is a surreal world where they sing about the alphabet, going to the doctor, or being a fireman. Think "Village of the damned" set to music with costumes.
Normally, I would be able to ignore Barney and his
fiends friends..The problem with this is...Oscar kept rewinding it..so over and over I am hearing THAT song..you know the one.."I love you..you love me..we're a great big family.." He did it so many times that I had no choice but to run- escape into that special place in my head..(if you are a stay at home parent, you know what I'm talking about) It was either that, or lose it completely...standing in front of the television...tears streaming down my face...shaking my fists, gnashing my teeth..yelling shrilly "You don't love me!! You don't even know who I am!!" And then collapsing in a quivering heap.
It's not like I have anything against costumed characters. Really I don't! I myself made a living being one. Once as a giant turkey for a Thanksgiving promotion at a mall, and another time as a giant rose. The giant rose was my favorite. I was promoting a flower shop on Sixth Avenue in Manhattan. I would run up and down the block handing out fliers while dressed in a green spandex unitard with a GIGANTIC rose head piece. Oh, I had so much fun....I would follow people into their buildings..down the street..Sometimes I would pose in the window of the store...not moving..letting people come and stare...and then BOO! I would jump out at them...or I would subtly wink at someone...make them question whether or not I was real or if they were imagining things. Alright..maybe the last part wasn't so nice. But hey-I never once sang that I loved anyone..nor did I gather a posse of strange children to sing along with me. I loved it. It was the perfect job for a hyperactive girl.
Oscar is much better and back in school this week. He also seems to be over his fascination with Barney. He is a funny boy my Oscar. He loves words and phrases..loves to repeat certain things...and asks me to repeat them as well. We have our old favorites like "farmers nipples", "Binga Binga has grass on his hands", "grey stuffed animals nose"and oh so many more. I never quite know what word or phrase is going to catch his attention or even why some of them do. Thankfully,(really thankfully) he didn't care to repeat any of what Barney said..well except for "I love you" but he's always said that...and that one is straight from Oscar.
Hee. I'd have loved to see you being the rose. :-)
Glad the Barney period is over (and hope it stays that way).
I probably have a picture somewhere..yeah..I don't think he'll go back to Barney...none of the herd ever really liked him-phew! :)
I can't even type the B word, that will tell you what I think of the giant purple dinosaur. I, cleverly, never introduced my younger children to 'it', only so much a parent can handle!! Jen.
Maybe he'll start singing the Shaun the Sheep song! I like it, it's quite catchy!
You need to dig out a pic of the flower girl! I'd love to see that one!
Hi jen..you would be suprised-no matter how much you try to shield them from such evils like the "B" guy...once they master the remote..all bets are off..
Hey stork! I know I have a picture wearing the headpiece somewhere..
Funny thing was-with this job..once it got dark, I, believe it or not was frequently mistaken for a prostitute! ;0 Wonder if that ever happened to Barney?
Yeah, I always hated Barney, but I hated Bozo the Clown, too.
Clay-I loathe Bozo the clown..he scared the crap out of me...I always thought that he was really angry and mean...and so not funny. I shudder thinking about him. So glad he never sang the "I love you" song...I might have been scarred for life...
The flower pic has got to be great! LOL :)
As for Barney and Bozo, I always thought they both looked a little deranged. So thankful that my little guy has never really gotten into the purple dinosaur and hoping that it stays that way!
Nice one Kathleen..... I too need pictures of your previous existence!! Oh what a fun job! You are full of little surprises ;-) xx Jazzy
Hi Chelli! I agree with you..they are ALL deranged..hopefully your little guy won't find them..hopefully..:)
Hi Jazzy!-I have had some of the most bizarre jobs..which is how I like it. :) This was one of my favorites though..
I will post the picture should I happen upon it..It was really a well made lovely costume...and I definitely shocked people when I decided to walk around the neighborhood in it..:)
If it weren't for Barney, I couldn't have taken a single shower from 95-99....he really DID love me ;)
Hi Denise...um are you saying he took showers with you??? hahahahahah!
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