Saturday, May 14, 2011

Haunted by hummus and other tales of woe....


 I wasn't going to blog today. I wasn't. I had one of those weeks-and, I would much rather forget it than immortalize it here. It wasn't that it was was just..confusing.  Up was down, down was seemed that no matter what I tried to do-it couldn't get done..
  On Monday, I stumbled downstairs, only to be assaulted by the overwhelming scent, to call it a scent is too weak..mild. My nostrils were assaulted by what I can only describe as one of the most disgusting, horrid, stomach turning...retch inducing smells.  One of my dogs had gotten into the bin of dog food. Thus eating twice his body weight in kibble. The after effects were ASTOUNDING! Mind boggling even. THE sheer amount of poop(that he so lovingly left on the floor) was awe inspiring.  We are talking record books. If people in climbing gear had shown up at my door "because it was there" I would not have been surprised. It was THAT tremendous. I actually considered renting a back hoe. But I thought it wouldn't be wise to operate heavy machinery before coffee.  So I settled for a hefty bag. 10 gallon to be precise. The rest of the day was spent airing the house and clearing my head from the poop induced haze. I also put a lock on the food bin.

There is nothing quite as stimulating as getting a call from your kids school asking you where you are.. Yup-Tuesday morning, as I was sitting down with a coffee, cooling off from my workout, I received just such a call.  Where was I? Why, at home. Our IEP meeting was set for eleven the next morning-right?  WRONG. It had already started and I was ten minutes late....which turned into twenty minutes by the time I had arrived.  All flustered and out of breath. Only to be met by nine people sitting in a half circle waiting for me to arrive. Either they didn't notice-or they were too polite to mention My un brushed windswept  hair-and the fact that I was wearing Omar's thick wool  hunting socks with my clogs. (that I had spent a panicked few minutes looking for-as the girls had stuffed them into the couch)   But I was dressed.  The meeting went well-we got everything we needed.  But, my week went down hill from there...

  On Wednesday morning, Sammy reminded me of the "International fair" at his school that evening.  All the kids had a country that they had to learn about.  Sammy's was ancient Egypt.
"Mama..don't forget the international fair is tonight."
"I won't forget buddy"
"It starts at six"
"We'll be there"
"I forgot! I have to have food."
"Yes, I promised that I would bring something."
" brownies?"
"No...Food from ancient Egyptian times."
"So your telling me NOW that in a few hours you need to bring in a dish that was eaten in ancient Egypt?"
  Oh all was not lost.  He had recipes! Recipes for things like "Leaven" where you use barley and warm water and let it sit for a few days...and "Ful Medames" which required the soaking of beans for twelve hours. So, as soon as they left on the bus, I rushed to the supermarket secretly hoping that there was an "ancient Egyptian" food aisle I had somehow overlooked. There wasn't-so I settled for *hummus(ick) and pita.  I figured there wouldn't be any ancient Egyptians there to complain. I was right. There weren't.

 Thursday morning I had yet another IEP meeting.  This one I was on time for-and I wore the appropriate socks. Things were looking up.  Until I remembered that Lily's school concert was that day. An afternoon spent listening to the not so dulcimer tones of first through third graders. Let the headache begin! I know, I many parents are thrilled to see their children perform. They look forward to concerts  and other school sponsored events. Sadly, I must have been absent on the day that this quality was handed out-or I just got an extra dose of sarcasm.  Either way, I loathe these things. There are just so many songs about "back packs" and "flags"that I can handle before I am ready to either run screaming screaming. I don't know what it is.  There is a new music teacher this year-and although she has brought them forward musically (meaning songs from the 40's as opposed to the last music teachers penchant for songs from the year 10) The concerts remain relatively lifeless. Maybe because there isn't a real sound system and the microphones are positioned in such a way to catch every sound BUT the singers?   All I can say is that I was happy when the third graders got up to perform-because it meant I had done my duty and could sneak out the back.
  When we got home, Omar said "When the kids get in, I'll take them to the park for a little bit so you can have some alone time." I have a wonderful husband. The day was looking up. I actually had some time to myself,,I was feeling peaceful, calm...almost recovered...until they came back. Lily was in a MOOD. Nothing pleased her-especially me. It all came to a head when she insisted (after having just finished an ice cream cone) on having....hummus. That freaking hummus again! I said "Lil, you just had an ice cream, we are going to have dinner in a little is not the time for hummus.".."I WANT hummus!" she insisted. *sigh* "No Lil, now is not the time for it.  I will give you some with dinner if you like."  "I want it NOW!" She then proceeded to throw a fit like the likes of which I have never seen before-and I have seen some pretty amazing freak outs. She went from innocent seven to snarky fifteen and back again. There was foot stamping and crying..attitude and back talk. This went on long into the night...even after she went to bed. Even after I went to bed. It was a very long night
  Friday morning came way to quickly for me. For Lily as well. She just couldn't wake up..telling me "I'm sick-can I stay home?" I knew that she was exhausted - I let her.  Of course the minute the bus pulled away-she was wide awake and ready for entertainment. I was not feeling very "entertaining". So I settled her with some coloring books and decided to visit with my blogger friends. GASP! Blogger was down! I could not comment! I could not blog! I was pissed.  Working myself up into my own little fit. I thought "Fine-be down! Don't let me comment! If that's the way you want it-then I won't blog-see how that makes you feel!!" (yes *sigh* I yelled at blogger)  I think it must have heard me-because in the middle of my little tantrum, it returned to its normal self. (sometimes I need to think that I have such power)  Blogger is back-so I'm hoping that things are finally looking up.   Tomorrow, I plan on sleeping in and then leisurely catching up on my blog reading-commenting.   I think I'll throw the hummus out as well. 

*There was a summer in college when me and my house-mates were flat broke. The only thing we had to eat was chick peas. (I can not for the life of me recall why we had so many chick peas) so, we made a huge vat of hummus. For eight very long weeks we lived on that Hummus.  Morning noon and night.We had so much hummus that I swore I would never eat it again.  In fact, I struggled just buying it for Sam's school fair. I loathe hummus. 


Life in the House That Asperger Built said...

Sorry you had such a crappy week! That sux! And I'm with you on the hummus. :-)


Kim Wombles said...

Sleep in, what is this sleep in? :-) I hope you are blissfully snoring as I type this.

(((())))Just don't give the hummus to the dog! Imagine the aftereffects!

Big Daddy Autism said...

I'll bet that King Tut had the same ice cream / hummus argument with his mom.

Lizbeth said...

Ohhh the thought of Hummus makes me throw up in my mouth a bit. And the fact you got the Sam's size is making it hard to swallow back down.

You poor thing. I can just see you, IEP meeting?!? what IEP meetng?!? Insert all your favorite cuss words here...

Here's to hoping next week is better!

Lynn said...

Dogs (and Big Daddy) are notoriously too dumb to stop eating before they make themselves sick. I like hummus but now you all have made me dislike it. Eight weeks of it must have made for quite the purple haze in your house. Also, its a very good thing that you didn't blog about the international fair on Wednesday night cuz Blogger would have eaten that post like a delicious hummus filled pita chip.

Stephanie said...

Food, from ancient Egyptian times...why in the world!?! Grapes! Olives!

I agree about the singing thing. I go. I don't enjoy it. Except the part where my kids actually participate (this is a big deal for us). That's good. But the singing...nothing against lovely little voices, but not my thing.

I do hope you have a better week coming up for you soon! Perhaps one that involves an abundance of sleep without the need for being sick?

Floortime Lite Mama said...

Sorry about the sucky week but I was perishing with laughter and reading out bits to my DH
This one made me laugh and laugh
"We are talking record books. If people in climbing gear had shown up at my door "because it was there" I would not have been surprised. It was THAT tremendous"

Unknown said...

I'm sorry to hear you had such an amazingly crappy week. I'd invite you over for some hummus and girl talk, but oh well...

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Another of my favourite bloggers says that her life is only funny to other it okay to say I was laughing? Love the desperation of trying to get ancient Egyptian food in the local supermarket lol

D. S. Walker said...

I hope this week is better!

kathleen said...

@ Life in the house-thanks. :) sleeping was wishful for hummus and dogs-ACK!

@big daddy-maybe :) But I bet his mom didn't have to run and find food for his school projects!

@Lizbeth-yeah..hummus..ick ick ick..and there is nothing quite like a "surprise" IEP...even though I was the only one surprised..*sigh*

@Lynn-I am tempted to send blogger the extra hummus. and yes..hee..purple haze does describe things back then very very well! kids singing..lovely. But thirty other kids singing with them-in monotone? just heinous! I really was hoping for an ancient Egypt food aisle!! As for sleep-I take it when I can get it...although my girls were playing with my alarm clock yesterday-and I found myself up for the day at 4 a.m....sigh made me laugh too...just not at that particular moment.

@apples and autobots- NOOOOOOOOO! although if you had chocolate...?

@looking for blue sky-I KNOW exactly what she means!!!..and yes..I wind up laughing too-only much mcuh later..:)

@DSWalker-thanks :)

Sharon from Mama's Turn Now said...

Love love love it! What is it with Kids waiting to the last minute to tell us they need something for school. Two weeks ago I had to make 4 dozen cupcakes in one morning and ice them like butterflies for the 2nd grade who were celebrating life cycles and the metamorphosis of their caterpillars. Oh and I was told my dear sweet daughter to make sure they were prettier than the other mom who was making some too. REALLY?

I so can relate to the being poor and eating hummus thing been there done it when I lived in NYC. But with us it was rice. I can not begin to tell you how many different things you can do with rice as it was cheap and in bulk and when you are a starving actor those are the best combinations!

Anonymous said...

Apparently I am the only person left on the planet that likes hummus! But then again, I never had to live on it. I have that loathing sentiment for Top Ramen and applesauce!

Sounds like a very busy and aggravating week. I hope this week is better for you!

Stephanie said...

My kids do that too (playing with the alarm clock). After two or so hours of sleep I woke up an hour early--EST.
I'm usually better at checking that at night.

jazzygal said...

Oh my, what a horrendous week Kathleen! I do hope this week is going much better. And if it makes you feel any better your recounting of your week from Hell made me laugh! In a good way, of course. Whatever got into Lily? Not surprised she was tired next day!

xx Jazzy

Bernie said...

Good Lord, I'm exhausted just reading this. I'm glad that you were able to keep a sense of humor about the whole thing.

Diane said...

Wow - I'm just so sorry. I've had variations on weeks like this, minus the giant pile of poop (although we do accumulate an impressive amount of cat vomit). It makes it unnerving just to wake up in the morning and wonder what's coming next.

I admit I was laughing about your Egyptian food dilemma. I managed our last-minute French cuisine all right - French bread and over-priced spreadable cheese from Kroger counts. I have, however, had conniptions over assignments requiring impromptu middle-eastern and William the Conqueror costumes made from "whatever we had at home".

I'm not a big fan of children's concerts, either. My oldest always got tremendously upset by having to participate or even be in the same room while others performed, so it kind of soured the whole experience for me. Plus the music teacher at our elementary school was really just awful with him. My family got revenge later when my middle son threw up on her shoes in the middle of his fourth grade concert. I still smile when I think about it.

I hope you've had some nicer experiences to help balance some of this out.

kathleen said...

@Sharon- Butterfly cupcakes?! I think I had it way easier with the hummus! :) Those five lb. bags of rice are lifesavers..and you can't forget Ramen pride noodles too!

@Theconnerchronicles- I promise-you can have all of my hummus! and ick..Ramen and applesauce? That is pretty awful sounding...:)

@Stephanie-I USUALLY check too...I have to remember NEVER to let my guard down-again. :)

@Jazzygal-It is, thanks. Glad I could make you for Lily? I fear early adolescence..*sigh*

@ Bernie- yeah WAS a tiring one-but funny....once I was able to step back..perspective is everything isn't it?

@Diane-Nothing like cat puke! I would have loved to see what you came up with for a William the conqueror costume!..He threw up on her shoes..heehee..I too find a lovely sort of satisfaction in that!

Accidental Expert said...

Oh what a week. Hope things are going better now.

kathleen said...

@accidental expert-thanks..yes they are. :)