Summer times four..

~"Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished."~ Leslie Nielson

     

Wednesday morning I knew for sure that fall was on its way...the air was cooler..the leaves are just starting to change...and I was surrounded by the dulcimer tones (in quadruplicate) of the shifting time ..the lyrical lilting sounds of the end of a season...

"Uuuuuuggghh.." "Why do I have to get up now?!" and "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" 

  Yes, school has officially started. Summer is coming to a close..and I have accomplished...nothing. Well..not "nothing" per say....It's more like I got side tracked by things..I HAD intended to do all kinds of wonderful things..We were going to read..explore science..do experiments...cook..go to the beach..sing! I... was going to be the Maria von Trapp of Maine.



                                                           

 


  But it was not to be...Oh-the summer started off great...In June, we went to the library..we read books..we were even about to build a volcano! (*sigh* I bragged about this in an earlier piece) And then...
  I misplaced Oscars paperwork for camp...
which led to an incredible purging of every nook and cranny in my house...I just KNEW that I had put them somewhere...
I did find them (on a table) but only after my frantic email to the camp requesting a new set of paperwork-and yet again-only after the second set of paperwork arrived.. I quickly filled out all the paperwork-faxed all the info-had other info faxed back..crossed my i's dotted my t's...realized what I did and fixed it...
 Only now I had to get him ready for camp-me ready for him going to camp...plus clean up every paper I had furiously torn out of every cabinet, drawer, purse..closet...
Because (aside from the fact that I was buried in papers) my house-or at least 1/4 of it decided it was tired and started sinking...SINKING..

                                                          

                                                                     JULY

  So-I had to hire a contractor to come and jack it up and fix the foundation and the floors and  the walls and the ceilings.....only it turned out to be more of a project than anyone expected..part of which included me emptying two rooms just filled with all kinds of crap-including..of course..paperwork.
 In the meantime...
Oscar went to Camp Capella  (I can not rave enough about how wonderful their program is) for an entire week!  He had a lovely time. He swam, he fished..he boated..he did arts and crafts, nature walks..and bonfires. I on the other hand spent an entire week (needlessly) worrying about him..had to-because...well,.it's my job-one that I am amazingly efficient at.  Oh if only worrying paid!  I would be quite wealthy...because worry overtook the rest of the Summer.
  At the end of July, I had both of my girls re-evaluated.  I did not agree with the schools assessment of Zoe last year. So I sought another opinion.( One based on the newer DSM V guidelines). As for Lily..she's been having some difficulties. She does have a diagnosis of ADHD..but I wanted to be sure that we were doing all that we could to help her.
 We weren't.
                                                                 August
  Anyone who has undergone evaluations knows that there is a ginormous amount of *sigh* paperwork involved. Questionnaires to be filled out-and to have other people fill out..old evaluations to be found...which of course involved me digging through years (I've been doing this for at least thirteen) of stuff.   It's time consuming...and unnerving...I hate doing these things because it feels as if you are dissecting your child..picking apart the pieces that make them different but also makes them-them...We filled out the forms and gathered the info and tested the girls...and came to find out..... that they were both on the spectrum.
That's four for four now.
I want to say that I was shocked-but really?  I wasn't. Definitely a bit surprised...and definitely angry at myself. I should have seen it..I should have known. It's not like I'm new to this. My girl-my curly headed wild woman..so very full of everything- that at times she almost bursts..she trusts me...and I let her down.  I simply did not recognize just how much she has been struggling.
Crap-that hurts...stings...cuts me into a million pieces.  but I'll get over it.  The important thing now is to help her through this rocky time. To continue to build her up as we always have-only now with better information. Most importantly-to get her the support she needs.  which you know is going to require a whole lot of paperwork.

  So-another Summer has past. Once again, it did not go entirely the way I had planned. Oh well. At least the kids are happy (with the exception of school starting-they will get over it.) and my house is no longer sinking...I'd say that (with the exception of all the paperwork) it was a pretty good one.

 

   

One year...and today..

~ "let me be something every minute of every hour of my life. Let me be gay; let me be sad. Let me be cold; let me be warm. Let me be hungry...have too much to eat. Let me be ragged or well dressed. Let me be sincere - be deceitful. Let me be truthful; let me be a liar. Let me be honorable and let me sin. Only let me be something every blessed minute. And when I sleep, let me dream all the time so that not one little piece of living is ever lost.”`Betty Smith~A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

 Summer vacation is not like it used to be..or at least not like I remember it.  When it seemed like there was an endless stretch of days- possibility ahead of me...First thing in the morning I would be out the door riding my bike..running in the woods..an eternity spent outside outside playing "red light green light" or "ring and run"  until the street lights came on- which everyone knows is  the universal signal that it was time to go home. It was a rare day that was spent inside-as most of us had mothers admonishing us to  "GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!!" The days were warm, but I don't remember being bothered by it-except maybe at night..when all we had were window fans blowing in hot air. So much has changed since then. At least for me. Summer still means endless days..only they aren't as carefree as they used to be

  I suppose that some of it has to do with being an adult-and some with how the times have changed.  Now days, kids have play dates and organized activities..Wii, Nintendo, and more television stations than I can count. When I was growing up we had four television stations (Omar had one) ..and they rarely-if ever, played kids shows. So-we had no choice but to learn how entertain ourselves. My problem now- has been in teaching my kids how to entertain themselves. Especially with all the fun technology and gadgets...which- in the early years- I embraced with wide open arms. It saved my life-and that is in all seriousness.

  Yes, there were many days that I had shamelessly allowed my children to sit in front of the television-or the computer screen...sometimes for hours. I admit it.  For years the background soundtrack of my life/ house were the theme songs from every obnoxious childrens program my kids were obsessed with. The thing is-the kids-especially the boys  gained a lot of knowledge from these shows..I remember when Sam was the only one in third grade to know what "haggis" was-thanks Scooby Doo! They learned about the world in a way that wasn't overwhelming. It calmed them down-made sense of things. So, I don't regret it. Even if their theme songs have become etched in my brain... So much so-that, to this day, I can still remember every single word to every single Thomas the Tank Engine song-and most of the dialogue from every single episode...Oh how I wish that there were a quiz show based on that.."I'll take Thomas's cheeky friends for 1000 Alex." I would be financially set for life! 

  Every summer, since the kids have started school...I make these plans...schemes if you will.."This summer we are going to do science projects, and visit the library..and spend our time out doors!" *sigh*...and then August rolls around and I'm buying school supplies and I realize we have done none of it...and that the reality is that I spent the majority of my time delegating whose turn it was to use the computer..or pick the t.v. show. But-this summer...this summer it's going to be different. I swear.

  A year ago yesterday-Omar, along with many of the other well paid employees of his company, lost his job. It set us in a tail spin.  But, sometimes spinning is good. This was definitely a year of spins. We reevaluated, refocused..and basically figured out that life wasn't about work..that we wanted to do things..have adventures..LIVE our lives-be the examples that we wanted our kids to see. At the same time, our kids each spun through their own things as well...no one however, as much as Oscar. 

  I don't know what happened..or even why things happened..But last summer, you would have had to PRY Oscar away from the computer..insist he do something that wasn't electronic..He wasn't interested in anything other than what he knew. But then- a few months ago-things started changing...it was gradual at first.  He started asking to walk to town.."I'm thirteen" was his reason....and then he brought home a brochure for summer sleep away camp..AND looked up the web site-AND had me fill out an application..."I'm thirteen" he told me.."I'm old enough to do this"..and then he started walking away from the computer.."I need to get out of my head" he's told me...and then he went to the school dance-alone.."I want to" he said...Today-he(and Sam) started working at our restaurant (bought as a result of this year)..They swept and stocked,,cleaned and folded pizza boxes..measured pasta and made lasagna- on their own. Today-we started them on the road to real independence-and they loved it.

 Every single moment of chaos and uncertainty- that started a year ago yesterday, was totally worth it for today..Today really was priceless. 

  Our Summer break started this past Wednesday.  We have already gone to the library..Zoe has read two books and has planned our first science project.(she really wants to be home schooled)  we are building a volcano on Sunday.All of them have spent at least an hour each day reading. I have only heard "I'm bored" 540 times (roughly-and 536 of them were from Lily) and the only back ground noise has been from the kids playing in the pool.  Not bad so far...