~"Mothers are all slightly insane.”~ J.D. Salinger
I can't help but think back on the early years with my boy. It took us what seemed like an eternity to get a diagnosis for him. I had suspected that he was "different" when he was just sixth months old. His focus on certain things, his lack of response(sometimes) when I called his name..or even banged pots behind his back. His ability to stay awake for
My relief it seems was cause for concern. It would appear that it was seen as some form of denial. I know-right? I mean, I had been the one who( all along ) had been saying "Somethings not right here!" And now, I was being told things like "He doesn't always respond when his name is called" "He hyper focuses on objects to the exclusion of everything else around him." Ummmm...Hadn't I already said that-like fifty gazillion times? But no-now it was "SERIOUS" and I had to face "REALITY"..there were some things my son "may NEVER do" and then they would give me THAT look. You know the one...The kind that is just full of
I have to admit-at the time, I was so worn out(-frazzled..a dried husk) that I didn't know enough to fight back(yet).I took them at their word. We had a new baby (Oscar) who didn't sleep, a three year old that didn't sleep..we didn't sleep..I didn't know which end was up. It wasn't until his first speech evaluation that I rapidly fell back down to earth. As an ironic aside-When the speech therapist came to our house to evaluate Sammy ..she looked at Oscar in his little swing and declared "Now THAT is what a normal child acts like!" Funny huh?...maybe not so much. She then proceeded to tell us(after spending five minutes with him-by the way, it was her last day working for this particular agency) that he was basically incapable...didn't know anything..that her coming had been a waste of time.That I needed to FACE REALITY. As she was leaving,
she said "just look at his ears-they are too low on his head..that tells me a lot!" sigh.. To this day-I still don't know what she meant by that. I did ask his doctor if his ears were low...he just looked at me oddly..and said.."What?" I said.."nothing!".. and left it at that.
I did face reality that day. I knew all along that my son had issues-knew that we all had our work cut out for us. I also knew that unless I stood up for him(and myself)-insisted on getting the services he needed in place, no one else would. I learned to look at my son. Really look. He was telling us so much. Only it just wasn't in words. I learned how to listen. I also learned how to file a complaint.
All of this seems like a life time ago-when in reality it was only nine and a half years. There has been so much growth, so much change. Funny how you don't always seem to notice these things until something big happens.. like the honor roll or student council...and even a first date.We are just too busy living/enjoying the day to day to always see it. Although we do try our best to encourage them all-every day. They are great kids-and I like to tell them that. The really nice thing is that they are starting to encourage each other..although sibling rivalry and competing for my attention does happen....
Today, Oscar must have overheard me talking to Sammy about his report card..telling him that he had a real talent for science and math..because a few minutes later he came to me and said "Mama? Do you want to know what I'm really good at?" silly me...he had brought some great math work home and I thought he was going to mention it..so I said "Absolutely..tell me" and he said "You really want to know I am talented in?" (Oh why didn't I notice the grin on his face) "Yes Oscar tell me!"(sometimes I am just too innocent) "I'm really good at POOPING!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" *sigh*
Whether you are a "Motha" or a "Mother"...or like me-a bit of both..I wish you all a lovely Mothers day weekend. I shall be enjoying it with the herd-who, by the way, ALL have lovely ears.
Beautiful, Kathleen. :-)
Happy Mother's Day to you.
Oscar is too funny. I love his zest for life. And think of the fact that some folks aren't so good at pooping, you know? :-) That's a good thing to be good at!
He's a cheeky one that Oscar! Isn't it amazing how fast they grow and their accomplishments?? And I'm amazed that we had such similar experiences. I was told over and over to relax and enjoy...it wasn't till he was 3 and started missing milestones they became concerned....I I was relieved!!! Seeing the kids grow, excel and mature is the best mother's day present--but don't tell my husband--I still want a day off! Hehe!!!
I swear, Oscar must be related to me. That boy, just like his Uncle Big Daddy, is obsessed (rightly so) with all things poop related.
I never even noticed people who may have told me to face reality as it was right in front of me all the time. Why do they always seem to be prophets of doom? Glad they were soooo wrong and Happy Mother's Day and thanks Oscar for once again giving me the best laugh of the day :)
...I couldn't imagine the world without your children...I couldn't imagine my world without you and your family...
I Love You...From, Weird Stalker Woman who will start calling your house at all hours and have plastic surgery to look JUST LIKE YOU!...I will also have to have my knees removed so I can get the height thing right...
Hi Dear, I am so happy for Sam. I hope he gets to wear a suit! How proud both you (Omar) and he should be. Oscar is a rip. Oscar is very good at making many, many people laugh! Love, Ei
It really is a great journey, isn't it? Hard, yeah, but well worth it!
Your Sammy is simply amazing. That 'Agency worker'?? Well, I can see why it was her last day..what a complete waste of space she was. And how easy it COULD be to stupidly mislead parents. But not so our clever Kathleen ;-) You rock. I know it's our life's work to fight for our kids but you deserve one big pat on the back. Mamas need praise too :-)
Ahh... good ole Oscar! I just KNEW what he was going to say!! It's EXACTLY what WiiBoy would say too!!
Everyone thank you so much for your comments! Blogger being down for a day and a half really threw me-especially when I went to respond and couldn't. Sorry..I wasn't ignoring any of you..:)
Finally getting around to reading this. How terrific for Sammy to get special recognition on top of making such progress. Hope you had a happy Mother's Day.
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