Saturday, August 16, 2014


~“I don't like my shoes,' said Rose.

'I'm wearing my shoes and you don't see me complain.'
'You only hear a person complain,' said Rose. 'Not see.'
How has Rose lived for seventeen years and no one has killed her, not once?”
 ~Franny Billinglsy~Chime


  My daughter was standing in front of the mirror, pulling on her cheeks, when she asked "Mama? is my mouth too big?"  "What?"..."Is my mouth too big?"..."No.".."Well. I think it is.".

 It wasn't the first time that I'd heard this question. It wasn't the first time that I have caught her stretching her lips, pulling on her cheeks..and it wasn't the first time that I had asked her- "Why do you think your mouth is too big?"  "I just do."

 At first, I had thought that maybe it has something to do with growing up.  She does have an older sister who is starting to take some major steps away from little girlhood...worrying about growing up, worrying about fitting in...worrying about *sigh* everything.  So, I thought that maybe her sisters worrying was possibly rubbing off on her. Girls do seem to go through some weird stuff-especially when it comes to appearance.

So, this time, I indulged her.  "Really?..hmmm...o.k., lets take a I  scrutinize her lovely face..tilting it left and then right, up and down, asking her to step closer to the light, then away from the light..turn to the side..tilt your head all the way back....I even thought about getting a tape measure. "Honey, I are perfect and beautiful..I see nothing wrong with the size of your fits your face beautifully.".."No, it's big."..exasperated I said "Baby girl! What in the world is making you think that you have a big.." and then it hit a load of bricks to the girl is a literal thinker..HOW could I not have realized this?  Me!- the woman who still wakes up at night relieved that she didn't answer her second grade teacher with "Don't all watches have two hands?" when said teacher asked if anyone's watch had a second hand...ME!- who thought "Euthanasia" meant-YOUTH in Asia...and Guerrilla warfare? Honestly-I once pondered   "How do they train gorilla's to fight?   How could I have not recognized this?!   

"Zoe?..honey?..Did someone tell you that you had a big mouth?: . "Well, remember that time when I was fighting with Lily......?" 

 For the record-there hasn't been much time in the past six months where they haven't been fighting. Each of them are incredibly sensitive lately-only not at the same time...which has just been so much fun-a regular barrel of laughs, a hoot if you will...Oh 2014...What a year it has been! What a time we have had!..(I've been thinking of having that put on a tee shirt or mug) I have have reached out to the U.N. peacekeeping forces-but have yet to hear back. fingers crossed! 

"Well...I'm not sure which fight you're referring to...but go on.."
"She yelled at me!"
"How unusual!"
"Wait...How is that unusual?"
"I was being sarcastic."
"So...what happened?"
"Oh..well Lily yelled at me and said that I had a big mouth!"
"Honey...that is just a "saying" doesn't really mean that your mouth-your physical mouth is big."
"Then why did she say it."
"When someone accuses someone of having a "big mouth" it means that they talk too much."
"But I don't talk too much."
"I know."
"Then why did she say it?"
"Because she was mad at you and that is the first thing that flew out of her mouth."
"Wait....something flew out of her mouth?"
"Words don't fly."

At this shoulders are up by my ears..I'm almost afraid to say anything else..

"O.K.-Lily said something in the heat of the..ummm..she was angry and yelled without thinking. You do that too.  I really wish that you would both stop. Your mouth is not big. O.K.?"
"O.K.'...and off she go tell her sister......and then...

 "Yes Lily?"
"Zoe said.........

  There is only a week and a half until school starts up again. 


Looking for Blue Sky said...

I did giggle at that - hope that's okay! Here we've got to the point where my son finds all the double meaning hilarious, and feels the need to explain them all to me :) You may have that phase to look forward to next .... x

jazzygal said...

Hahahaha!! Hilarious! I so, so SO get this. Have had so many similar conversations over the years. Still do at times!
Thanks for making me laugh! Again!
(and I have to go share this!!)

Stephanie Allen Crist said...

I must have been in sixth grade when the teacher was sorting us into groups based on how many letters were in our name. At the time, of course, I still had my maiden name: A-l-l-e-n. So, when she said, "How many have four letters in their last name?" I raised my hand. A fellow student with the last name of L-y-n-c-h pulled my hand out of the air and said, "You have five letters, just like me. Dolt."

I learned to be less of a literal thinker by reading a lot of books and figuring out what people meant by the context. It was a lot harder to apply that to real life, because we're not often offered time to sit back and reflect in the moment.

Of course, when exchanging barbs there's not necessarily any clarifying context. Kids say the darnedest things.

kathleen said...

Thanks for the kids really make me laugh with these things..also because I think just like still takes me a minute from time to time..Ha-Stephanie, the amount of times I did things like that at school...sigh! :)